I did say I wouldn’t talk much about femininity, but geez. It’s my blog. I can write on the topic some if I want to can’t I? Of course I can. However, my thinking about this key aspect of femininity to me came to me while discussing things with an excellent male friend of mine this morning. He’s an awesome guy. He’s got a good heart, a good head on his shoulders, and he’s a joy to be around.
We were discussing the topic of masculinity and homosexuality and how we need to have men that respond properly sexually to women. I pointed out that I think there are two errors. One is that it’s expected that every guy will be a sucker for every beautiful woman that comes along and goes ga-ga entirely. (Think of the TV show where the wife controls the husband with sex as a weapon, which is something you should NEVER do ladies.)
The other, of course, is the homosexual extreme. This is where one has zero interest in the ladies and is in fact, far more interested in masculinity. Both are wrong and I believe the Holy Spirit is capable of cleaning up both. I look at 1 Cor. 6 as my main text. It could be harder for our age of psychology and emotion to see that.
However, I did say the church has also had a negative role in this. Unfortunately, the church has often presented sexuality as something dirty and to be ashamed of. Rightfully, the church condemns pornography and sexual intercourse outside the confines of marriage. Wrongfully though, it seems to condemn sexual desire along with it.
I have no envy of the man who does not struggle with lust of the opposite sex. Instead, I have pity. Such a man is not being tempted by that which is good. It could be that he is either so holy he is no longer tempted or he is so dead in his masculinity that he isn’t tempted. Unfortunately, it’s more likely the latter.
Men should be tempted. Why? Because women are good things and their beauty is a good thing. I spoke to my friend about how I saw this often growing up in church. Many of us are young men and we just don’t often know what to do. We have this great desire, but at the same time, it seems wrong to have the desire. I am thankful for Sunday School teachers who pointed out passages like Proverbs 5:18-19 to me.
Yet I also pointed out a great truth. There were several women I was infatuated with in High School, though I never acted on any desires. I was a shy guy. What can I say? Still am in many ways. However, it wasn’t until I started studying apologetics that I began to see just how truly beautiful women are.
Why? I think it is because seeing the truth of my faith caused me to look at life in a whole new way. Why did I see women as truly beautiful then? Because I saw them as reflections of his beauty. I began looking at sexual intercourse, this great desire in me, to see if it could tell me anything about the love of God, and I found volumes! (Today, it is one of my favorite topics to get a book on. I definitely recommend for anyone a copy of Lauren Winner’s book “Real Sex”, the best I know on the topic.)
How did I see the beauty then? I saw the beauty of a female by the beauty of God. It is the same with light. I cannot see light directly. It moves too fast! However, it is by that light that I can see everything else. It is by God that I see everything else, or at least I should, as it truly is.
When I see a lady then, I look for that which most reflects Christ. I can see some women that will be seen as “plain” by most of the world but they have great hearts and for myself, a strong intellect also doesn’t hurt, and they are gorgeous. Then, I can see women that when describing how they look physically, they could be supermodels and I know it, but there is just no attraction there. They are merely skin deep.
My stance on women is that they are Eve walking around. Eve represents the glory and beauty of God. I see her as the most glorious being in creation. Man is meant to lead the creation, but the woman is to represent God’s beauty on Earth. In fact, I have a syllogism with a missing premise that I use. You will either understand it or you won’t.
Beautiful women exist.
Therefore, God exists.
I am thankful that God has created so much beauty, especially in the woman, and that he has enabled me to see him in her.