On Birth Control

Now this is a difficult one to write. I have a friend who I am sure has his wife on birth control. I even have a sister who is on birth control. Thus, whatever I say here, it is going to be taking a stand on what they are doing. I will say that I am open to having my mind change. I am not dogmatic on this point. I am more willing to lean, but this is just where I am now.

At this point in my life, I just don’t support birth control. Now I understand that there are some forms of birth control out there that do abort a baby when it is conceived. Such a form of birth control I would not change my position on. I do not believe that is moral under any circumstance. (For the record, I do believe that it is forgivable just as abortion is.)

My concern with birth control is with that last word. Control. We have set up this illusion that we have control and that when we want to have children later on, well they will surely come. As Morse has said in her book “Smart Sex,” it didn’t happen for her, because when she wanted to have kids later, she suddenly couldn’t. There are several other women who share the same story.

It has thus allowed us to buy into this myth that we are in charge. We can change the odds on the dice, but the odds are still there. You could still somehow have a child on birth control. It’s not likely, but you could. You could not have a child with fertility help. It’s more likely you will, but there is no guarantee.

I am more and more amazed that we see so many commercials for birth control that have happy families. It’s as if we’re saying “If you use our product, you can put this off, but it will be waiting for you.” You have no guarantee. You are not in charge of your reproductive cycle. Maybe you will have kids. Maybe not. You don’t know.

And that ultimately is my concern. We are given the impression that we are in control and blocking off the increasing of the community largely for reasons that are quite shallow. A child would interrupt our career or we want time to enjoy ourselves first or we think we can’t afford a kid. Somehow, families centuries ago made it.

Thus, at this point in my walk, I just can’t support it. Now why am I discussing it? Well, we’re discussing marriage and sex and I plan to cover all areas. If I’m wrong, I’m ready to admit it, but these are just my thoughts at the moment.