The Joy Of Sex And Marriage

I think it’s about time to wrap this series up. It’s been an interesting time. Of course, I’ll be writing on topics relating to sexuality from time to time, but I wanted to do something more long term like I did on hearing the voice of God. Readers can expect that this will happen every now and then.

If there is something I am concerned about with the increasing number of sermons I hear on sex, it is that we hear negatives only. We always are told how we must practice self-control and how we should avoid temptation and how this is only for marriage and all the diseases we can get and how scarred we’ll be if we make mistakes and guilt we’ll have later on.

Now, I think there is truth to that, but I am just concerned that while we hear the negative side, we don’t hear the positive, and that side needs to be heard.

We need to hear about the joy of sex. We need to hear about the joy of marriage. More specifically, we need to hear about the joy of sex in marriage.

We talk about how there is too much sex on TV today and in movies. However, it is there because the public is getting a message they enjoy. Why not get it from the married people today? Why aren’t married people putting forth an exciting picture of their marriage to where people would say “I want that!”?

Now we might talk today about young people today seeing marriage as confining and negative and something to be avoided. We can condemn that they have a false view of what marriage is to be, and I do. However, we must face the brute fact that they got that view from somewhere. Could it be from watching the older generation in marriage?

Look at how you present yourself to the world if you’re married. Is it something exciting and vibrant? Or, is it just something in your life? (For all Christians, we could ask the same thing about the presentation of our faith. If it’s just something in our life, why should anyone else want it after all.)

Do you complain about your marriage more than you boast in it? When you’re with other people, do you complain more about your spouse or boast about how awesome they are? Of course, I know we all joke some about our spouses some, but what impression are you giving people? You must be sure of that.

How about your children? Do they know that your marriage is extremely important in your life? With our high divorce rate, who can blame them for thinking we don’t value marriage and if we don’t, how can we tell them that they should? Furthermore, if you have older kids, what about your life in the bedroom?

Of course, I realize that this is time alone for you and your spouse, but do your kids know that this is an important part of your life? Mothers. Are you raising your daughters to know that this is something good that they can enjoy and they should wait til marriage for a man to enjoy it with? Most often, we usually get the message one author said a minister gave her in that he was told two things about sex. First, that it was dirty. Second, that he should save it for someone he loves.

Is that far from the boat for many?

Dads. What about you? Are you telling your son how awesome this is, but at the same time, showing him the boundaries God set in this awesome relationship? When we break the relationships between atoms in the physical world, Hiroshima and Nagasaki are the result. Imagine what it does in the spiritual world when we break sexual bonds. The impact is more atomic. Are you teaching your sons this?

What about your presentation in the community? Are you known for arguing and bickering? I realize all couples have their arguments, but what are you known for? If people make jokes about how you arrive at church Sunday all friendly but start arguing when you get in the car, there’s a problem.

Remember also that if you have children, they won’t hesitate to tell how things really are. When they start dating, are they going to have a good role model to follow? Do the daughters want to grow up to be like Mom and do the sons want to grow up to be like Dad?

And ministers, what about you? When you preach on sex, are you only giving the do nots? Have you ever touched Song of Songs in a sermon and talked about the joy of sex? Have you ever turned to passages like Proverbs 5:18-19? I would love to hear ministers preach on the joy of sex instead of just the “Do nots.” Yeah. I understand they’re important, but so is the positive side.

And for all of us, have you considered that sexuality is God’s gift to you? If you’re a man, God’s gift to you is that you’re masculine. He could have made you feminine, but he made you masculine for a reason. It’s his gift to you. Are you thanking God for your masculinity and trying to live to be more of a man in his eyes every day?

If you’re a woman, then in the same way, your femininity is God’s gift to you. He could have made you a male, but he made you female. Are you also thanking God for that? Are you being the best lady that God would have you to be? Are you living up to a proper ideal of femininity every day?

Friends. Sexuality is important. I recall a friend once saying that it’s talked about in the Bible all the time because he knew we’d be thinking about it all the time. God treats it seriously. So should we. Are we doing that? Are we sharing the joy of sexuality and marriage with the next generation?

The future of the family and then our civilization I believe is at stake. We can’t afford to show a bad example.

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