Where I work at, I have regularly seen a music video by Elizabeth Withers of a song called “Be With You.” In this song, there is the line of “Tonight I’m gonna be every woman in your fantasy.” I don’t think anyone needs to be reminded that men have active imaginations in this area, but I ponder if the idea of being every woman is a good thing.
I am of the opinion that as a man, I do not desire every woman. If every woman was what was desired, then by all means, go out on the street and start fulfilling that dream right now. However, it is not quantity that I desire in this wish, but it is rather the quality of the lady.
If a lady is focused on being every lady, is she really being the lady that she is meant to be? A lady is not to be under pressure to measure up to a number of desires in the mind of a man. She is meant to be the ideal. The more a man truly loves a lady, the less he will think that she must perform as much as she just must be. A lady is defined by who she is first and what she does is an outworking of who she is.
In fact, the reason you marry someone is because they are NOT every lady. They are married because they are that one lady. They are the lady that is the fairest of all. The Song of Solomon speaks of virgins and beauties in huge quantities, but the one that has been chosen surpasses them all. That one is unique. She is the one that the rest of the world overlooked, but the lover only has eyes for her. She is the diamond in the rough.
The idea of having to please puts undue pressure on the lady, and for that record, if she appraoaches the man with a similar concept, it puts undue pressure on him. What I say can go both ways, but I am just more familiar with the male point of view. I’m sure it would be a mystery why.
I also think the lady lowers herself. She is truly the object of his desire, but she is not just an object. The man does not just seek an experience. He could get that on the streets. The man seeks a lady. He does not just seek any lady either. He seeks her. The “performance” is an outworking of who she is and while he could be with anyone else, he would rather be with her.
<> Ladies. Always remember this. You are to be who you are. You are not to be that supermodel on television or that singer on the CD or anyone like that. You are to be you.
<> And if you are loved, that will be treasured.