Every Woman

Where I work at, I have regularly seen a music video by Elizabeth Withers of a song called “Be With You.” In this song, there is the line of “Tonight I’m gonna be every woman in your fantasy.” I don’t think anyone needs to be reminded that men have active imaginations in this area, but I ponder if the idea of being every woman is a good thing.

I am of the opinion that as a man, I do not desire every woman. If every woman was what was desired, then by all means, go out on the street and start fulfilling that dream right now. However, it is not quantity that I desire in this wish, but it is rather the quality of the lady.

If a lady is focused on being every lady, is she really being the lady that she is meant to be? A lady is not to be under pressure to measure up to a number of desires in the mind of a man. She is meant to be the ideal. The more a man truly loves a lady, the less he will think that she must perform as much as she just must be. A lady is defined by who she is first and what she does is an outworking of who she is.

In fact, the reason you marry someone is because they are NOT every lady. They are married because they are that one lady. They are the lady that is the fairest of all. The Song of Solomon speaks of virgins and beauties in huge quantities, but the one that has been chosen surpasses them all. That one is unique. She is the one that the rest of the world overlooked, but the lover only has eyes for her. She is the diamond in the rough.

The idea of having to please puts undue pressure on the lady, and for that record, if she appraoaches the man with a similar concept, it puts undue pressure on him. What I say can go both ways, but I am just more familiar with the male point of view. I’m sure it would be a mystery why.

I also think the lady lowers herself. She is truly the object of his desire, but she is not just an object. The man does not just seek an experience. He could get that on the streets. The man seeks a lady. He does not just seek any lady either. He seeks her.  The “performance” is an outworking of who she is and while he could be with anyone else, he would rather be with her.

<> Ladies. Always  remember this. You are to be who you are. You are not to be that supermodel on television or that singer on the CD or anyone like that. You are to be you.

<> And if you are loved, that will be treasured.

Because he cares for you

1 Peter 5:7 says “Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.” I really love this verse. I especially love the order that this verse is written in.

Notice that it does not tell us to cast our anxiety on him so that he will care for us. Why do we cast our anxiety on him? The reason is given. BECAUSE HE CARES FOR YOU! He already cares for you so you cast your anxiety on him.

I wonder how many times we stop and marvel at that thought. God cares about us. No. Not just us. God cares about you. Christian. If you are reading this realize this. God cares about you. Your actions are not what is being discussed. What is being discussed is that God cares about you?

 But I struggle with this sin! God cares about you. But I have doubts and fears. God cares about you. But I just don’t know where to turn. God cares about you. But I don’t know if I care about him. God cares about you.

So if this is true, then take that anxiety to him. What is causing it? Is it a problem? Is God not omnipotent. Is there a situation that he is incapable of handling by his power?

What about omniscient? Is there a situation that God doesn’t know the ins and outs of and that he might mess up and choose the wrong decision on?

Ah! What of omnibenevolence. Does he really love you? Will he really work this to your good? I believe this is the hardest one for us to believe. It is easy to believe someone exists. It can be hard to believe they love you.

It is true though. Consider this now. Socrates said in his apology that no evil can happen to a good man. What did he mean? He meant that evil is not what happens to you, but it is what you bring about in yourself. The evil actions of the soul can harm you, but being put to death cannot harm you.

So what of God? Is he going to do evil to you? Certainly not! Will he allow you to experience evil. Yeah. He allowed his Son to. Why should you be exempt.

 The Son never ceased to be the Son though. He remained pure in the face of evil. If God allows you to undergo evil, he has a good reason for doing so. It would be worth trusting.

Dear friend. The Potter loves you and he has made this invitation. Cast all your anxiety on him because he DOES care for you. He wants you to come. Why don’t you?

Good friends

I’d like to write on the value of a friend tonight. I have one visiting me tonight from out of state to stay here for a few days. We’re both theological geeks who love apologetics and RPGs.

Aristotle said a lot about friendship as one of the key virtues. It was the only one he had nothing negative to say about. While he had a golden mean for the others, he had naught for this one.

I find the value of friendship in that you share a common bond. It is more than just interests. Your friends get to know you as you are and you have a place where you can reveal yourself to be as you are.

Have you ever seen that thing on how a good friend knows your romantic history, but a great friend can blackmail you with it? A good friend asks for a drink, but a great friend helps himself? That kind of thing comes to mind.

It’s just such a blessing that we don’t go through life alone. Now some people might say we have God. Well yeah, we do. God didn’t intend for it to be just us though. Even Jesus had friends as he walked this Earth.

Every time I have spent with friends I look back on and never regret. Yeah. I could be reading a book or listening to an apologetics MP3 or something of that sort, but this is time made with friends.

I always treasure my friends. Make sure you do as well.

Wandering the Dungeons

I recently bought a copy of Final Fantasy VI Advance. I’ve played the Final Fantasy games for years and I was eager to get a copy of this one to go back in time and relive a great game from my past. I was pondering last night though why I enjoyed it so much, particularly as I’m in Dragon’s Den, a new dungeon designed just for the Advance version.

I found that as I pondered it, that it seems that life is a lot like that. I wonder how many times it seems we’re  wandering in a maze trying to find the right way to go. Along the way, we do face enemies. Some of them are pretty simple and we face them time and time again. Some of them are complex and we want to run and can’t always do some. Sometimes we can, but rarely do we succeed.

Scattered throughout though are various points of rest. There are times that you are allowed to take a break from it all. There are places where you can be by yourself and not have to worry about the threats of the outside. Unfortunately, one can’t advance while staying in safety, but such is life.

There are also numerous treasures along the way. Wandering the dungeon doesn’t just lead one to facing hard times in life. It leads one to finding great valuables that you might not find anywhere else. It is like being the child at Christmas again opening up the gifts to find what new stuff you have to add to your collection.

Let’s not forget something else though. There are friends with you. In these dungeons, the best character can go through with the best abilities, weapons, armor, and items, and he won’t stand a chance if he’s alone. There are no place for lone rangers in the world of adventure.

One important distinction must be made between my view and the naturalistic worldview. In my Christian worldview, there’s a reason one is in the dungeon to begin with. One is there seeking some greater good. It might be to eliminate an enemy or find a valuable item for a greater good, but there is a cause.

Aristotle called this a final cause. It was the purpose to which something existed. Does our life have a final cause or are we just wandering the dungeon merely because we are wandering it? Another question we as Christians must answer at some point is why we’re here to begin with.

Such is not the best analogy at this point though. This world is not a dungeon. It is dangerous and it is painful and hard at times, but there are far more treasures here than there are enemies. Which one you see the most of I find tends to rely on where you begin your journey from.

So what is your final cause then? Are you here for the greater good of bringing glory to God, or are you wandering around aimlessly? If the former, are you doing so? If the latter, maybe you should see if there really is a light at the end of the tunnel.

Talk Shows

During my first fifteen minute break on the job, I happened to go in the break room to find that everyone was watching a talk show. Now some, I don’t mind watching, but a lot of them just seem to chase after the most unbelievable in human behavior.

Chances are, you know exactly what I’m talking about. Sex, lies, and videotape takes on a whole new meaning. Every man seems to be one who is cheating on his girl with as many women as possible and sadly, the women seem to think the best place to discover the truth is on national TV.

Of course, the audience always eats it up. There’s always a booing for the one they think is the bad guy and a cry when they hear that X has been cheating with his girlfriend’s mother or something of that nature.

You know what bugs me the most? I heard an older co-worker back there saying “This is America.” Unfortuantely, in many ways, I think he’s right. I think our moral depravity has reached that stage where we tend to celebrate the limits we can go to.

Imagine standing up on such a program and saying that you are an evangelical Christian who believes in Jesus Christ. You would be laughed at to no end. Stand up though and say you’re a homosexual activist or a married couple that found liberty in sharing sexual partners, and you will be honored as heroic.

I fear that what I see is a microcosm. These are sadly real people involved. These are lives that are being hurt and this is all done on national television. Maybe some people do mean well, but I am skeptical.

If anyone wants to see the fruit of the sexual revolution and the moral relativism we have today, I think there is no other place to go to. I am saddened at what I see being said everywhere in America, and yet we Christians seem to be afraid to say what we ought because someone might get offended.

I would say some people need to be offended. The only way you can get some people to move is to step on their toes, and it’s time we Christians learned that we need to start stepping. If we don’t stand for something, we’ll fall for anything. We will march for our cause, or we will be marched over.

The problem of the a priori rejection of miracles

I have been pondering this for some time. It seems that a lot of people of the skeptical persuasion like to rule out miracles from the onset of any investigation. Is it any shock if you approach a book like the Bible with the presupposition that miracles can’t happen, that you’re going to have to explain away a lot of the gospels or allegorize it as teaching “deeper truths” or just say it’s inaccurate?

Let us take a skeptic. This will be a man who has spent his whole life crusading against the supernatural. One day though, an angel appears to him. This man is skeptical at first, but the angel does not go away despite any attempts to think it a hallucination and this angel also tells him something about his life he’s never told anyone or ever wrote down before. He is told something no one else would have any way of knowing.

This man then goes to his skeptical friends. He wants to tell them that he’s convinced that some theistic belief must be true. After all, he’s seen an angel. Now we get to the problem. How is he going to convince his friends who are of the same mindset as he that he has seen an angel?

If he says “But I saw it!”, he will be told “Sure you did. You were just hallucinating.” “This angel told me something no one else would ever know!” That will get him “It was just a projection of your self-conscious.” If he says “I’ve always been reliable and honest in what I say to you!” He will get “Yes. But this time, you’re obviously mistaken.”

<> If the supernatural is ruled out a priori, then there is really nothing that could be said that could convince someone of the skeptical mindset. No matter who you are, as soon as you appeal to the supernatural existing, it will be “explained away.” G.K. Chesterton once said we accept the testimony of a little old lady on mundane events but as soon as she says she’s seen an angel, we refuse to accept it.

Now someone might say that I as a Christian will only accept miracles in my religion. That is not the case. I am open to miracles in any religion.  They could be done by powers or opposed to God or they could be ways of God revealing himself to people in those religions that will turn them to him.

So why do I accept biblical miracles? Because the accounts are close to the times, the miracles are absolutely essential to what is going on in the story, and the accounts are accurate in the ways that I can test them.

Compare this to the miracles of Islam. Mohammad is stated as saying he didn’t need any miracle as the Koran was the miracle. The accounts are written generations after he died and they are not seen as essential to his ministry. Could some have occurred? Maybe. I have reason to be skeptical though.

My only complaint here? That the skeptic is not being fair. If you want to be skeptical of miracle claims, go ahead. To rule them out a priori though is begging the question and it is no shock that if a man rejects miracles as impossible before studying the Scriptures, that he will reject them as nonsense.

Where Does Wonder Lie?

I have a friend who has a terrible time with budgeting money. His problem is he can’t. We go to the mall and he walks out with about $80 worth of stuff and I’ll come out with maybe one item that’s inexpensive if even that. This friend doesn’t even have health insurance or a working automobile.

Now he’ll usually call me in the evenings and ask me what I’m doing. The answer is always the same. I’m on my computer. (There are a few exceptions to this such as if I’m at a friend’s or at a coffeeshop.) Before long, he’ll tell me he’s bored.

Now this amazes me. This guy buys new stuff every week and is incredibly bored. I hardly ever buy myself something new and I am rarely bored. I usually enjoy my life immensely.

This gets me to wondering where exactly wonder lies. I think one of the great errors of our time is that we suck the wonder out of stuff. Watch for this when someone says something is “nothing more.” I had a skeptic say to me that sex is nothing more than copulation recently. How can it be wonderful if it is lowered in such a way? It is purely biological function! Nothing else!

How many of us pause at what we see in our life though? I was driving some friends back to the church from getting pizza yesterday afternoon and just marveled for a moment. I’m a small guy and I’m controlling this vehicle to guide me across distances Saint Paul would have been thrilled at. My friends are actually trusting me with their lives and with simple pushes of my feet and movements of my hands, so much is happening.

When I see a movie like Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, I’m glued. Why? Because the movie has never got boring. If you enjoy it the first time, you should enjoy it the 101st time. I think the same applies to jokes. Does humor just grow old over time instead?

How about beauty? We men need to realize with the ladies that the beauty does not lie in our perception. The beauty lies in them. Beauty is not in the eye of the beholder. It’s objective and lies in the beautiful. There is such a thing as the beautiful.

Is this why some marriages grow stale? We’ve lost the wonder. The wife decides she can stop working on being desirable as she’s already got the man she wanted? The husband decides he can stop chasing the lady he loves because he already has her?

And why does it seem that intercourse happens less? Take a couple on their honeymoon and all they want to do is be with each other? Does that moment ever lose its wonder? Yet as the years go on, it seems harder and harder and could it sadly be because the marriage has grown stale?

I am most concerned because when we adapt this kind of view, we make ourselves into little gods. We are the ones who determine if something is wonderful or beautiful or funny or whatever else we may wish. It is a sort of aesthetic relativism.

These things either are or they aren’t. Our perception won’t change the reality. It doesn’t in morality. It doesn’t in physics. I don’t see why it should in aesthetics. Did God make a wonderful universe? How do you answer that?

 If your answer is yes, then today is the time to wake up and start living accordingly. Love the significant other in your life. Enjoy that joke again. Watch that movie one more time. Be thrilled at driving.

Embrace the wonder!

Why doesn’t God reveal more?

A friend came to me last night to discuss a concern on her heart. She was worried about someone who had died and she was sure wasn’t a non-Christian and just wasn’t sure what to say to children who would ask “Is he in Heaven now?” This is never an easy question, but I said it would be best to tell the truth as far as it is known. It would also be best to remember that we don’t know a person’s heart so we cannot be definitive.

This got into the question then of why doesn’t God give us a second chance after death? She told me that she had talked to several pastors and she just hadn’t been able to get an answer and one asked if she was even being deliberately hostile. For the record, this really saddens me. Pastors. If you can’t answer a question, go on and admit it. I think the average skeptic would be pleased with “You know what? That’s a good question and I don’t know. Give me a few days to look into it and think on it and I’ll get back to you.” If you believe your faith is true, you should always welcome a question. It will allow you to grow deeper in it.

My answer to the question was based on who God is. What would happen if you were to stand before God after you died and you saw all of his holiness and awesomeness and knew you were standing before one who had the authority to judge you rightly. Would your love be genuine or would it be out of fear?

I have no doubt that God could convince everyone that he exists right now if he wanted. (I do believe also though that some people will come up with incredible ways to explain away what happens.) If God can do this though, then why isn’t he? This would depend on what God’s goal is.

I don’t believe his goal is to satisfy our intellectual knowledge. God is not a subject to be put in a test tube. This is simple for us to realize. Why does someone like me want a wife? Is it so I can study femininity? No. It is so I can have someone I can love and so I can have someone who will love me in a unique way no one else can.

God is looking for those who will love him and those who will love him freely. The Bible tells us that those who seek will find him. The time of seeking is now. Is the ones who are really committed to the search who will find him. Some might say “Well I haven’t found him yet.” First off, the story isn’t done yet. You might soon enough. Secondly, are you really seeking? You could be seeking a god you want and not the God who is really there.

I believe there is a fine line here. If God shows too little, then no one will come to him as no one will be able to find him. Have you ever considered how it would be though if he shows too much? Imagine this scenario my fellow men. A lady comes up to you who is quite exquisite in appearance. You are in a place where you are alone and chances are, no one will come by for awhile. She says “You look really hot. I’m looking for a man to love me. Do you think you love me?” As she is saying this, her hands are removing all clothing from her.

<> Honestly men, how many of us, even if we won’t do it, will at least be tempted to say “Oh yes! I’ll love you!” at that point? Why? Well, we have an incentive, but it certainly isn’t love at that point. There’s something else motivating that desire. (Geez. I can’t imagine what that could be.)

<> God’s the same way. He wants us to come to him not because of the benefits that he’ll give us, which there are some.  There are benefits to the lovely lady as well. However, if you go for just the benefits, then you are not really going for the person.  God is to be sought for who he is and not for what he does just as the lady is really to be loved for who she is and not what she does. (And it really breaks my heart ladies to see you so many of you lose yourself to a guy sexually because he wants you for what you do and not what you are.)

Today then, I urge you to seek God. Seek him while you are able to seek. Trust in the promise. If you seek him and I mean really seek him, you will find him.


I thought about this some last night in our struggle with sin and the goal being to reflect God. I ponder how many times God is a good surgeon who has to perform a spiritual amputation on us. What happens is that we get something in our character that does not belong in our nature. The only way God can deal with it is to remove it from us.

<> How many times may we resist this working in us? Could it be that the times that we resist God the most are simply because he is wanting to help us the most? How often does a child resist the doctor with the needle for fear that it will hurt when the parents and the doctor both know that yes, it will hurt, but the pain is only temporary. The long-term will be for the best of the child.

Are you like that at times? Am I like that? Do we not have internal struggles of the soul that seem so overwhelming that we just cry out for mercy and beg God to remove these thorns in our flesh? However, they still remain. Could it be that a quick removal is not what we need? Could it be that we need to learn to develop skills in resisting temptation that will enable us to not have to face amputation so often?

What do we do when these struggles come up then? What do we do when we know something is wrong and yet do it anyway? I think it’s best to not run from God. He is the only one who can help us as painful as that help may be at the time. When the struggle comes up and we have wars within, we should not deny it. Instead, we should go to God as the only one who can help us and beg him to help us recover from it. This should be done not expecting an instant cure. God can do that, but I don’t think that’s the way he prefers to work. We live in an instant society that wants everything now. I don’t see God acting that way.

Let it come. The screaming pain you feel might be the birth pains that will enable you to be the new person you will be. God has begun the new life within you. That new life will be completed, but it will not be a peaceful process. There will be much anguish. Do you think if they could that the pot, the gold, and the silver would all cry out in pain from what their shapers put them through? However, we know the end result is worth it.

<> Dear reader. Submit yourself to the hand of the surgeon. He knows how to operate.

Reflecting Him

Have you ever thought about sanctification? What all does it mean to be sanctified? What does it mean to be holy? I would like to put forward a suggestion based on the idea that we are made in the image of God. I believe this integral part of our design shows us how we are to be in relationship to him.

I do not believe the image of God is physical. God is not material in his essential being.  I do believe though that many of his attributes are put in us though to a far less degree. We have the attributes of power, knowledge, rationality, relationality, wisdom, and sexuality for instance. We are male and female in his image so masculinity and femininity would reside in God.

In saying that last part, I do believe there are some attributes more reflected in the males and some more in the females. I believe the males are the leaders and they reflect more attributes of strength and leading. Females though reflect the beauty of God and are the jewel of his creation.

What makes a female so beautiful? It’s life. All that she is shows her to be a picture of life. She is vibrant and shining. She has in her what is needed to develop a life and to sustain it. Of course though, that new life I think needs a father and it definitely needs a father to get started.

We must go on though to this idea of sanctification. I believe that God does not turn us into himself. This is not a Hindu Nirvana concept where you get absorbed into God and cease to exist. This isn’t the Buddhist Sunyata idea where your goal is to reach the void where you cease to exist altogether. In the end, you are to reflect God.

Yet in reflecting God, you will still be you. Your essential you will not cease to exist. Instead, in reflecting God, you will be more you than ever before. You will be you as you were meant to be. What you are is to be whole and good. Anything that does not reflect the image of God does not fit.

Thus, I look at my life and I see pieces that don’t fit. I see parts of me that are being cut away. I find them painful. I find there is much that I would prefer to keep with me. I find I have raised up in me issues I don’t understand and I ponder that maybe these are coming forth so God can deal with them and I can be allowed to live the life he meant for me to live.

Everything must go. I must reflect him as he is. In the end, I will be the one that he looks at and he sees himself reflected. In the end, you will be the same way if you willingly submit to him. It is painful indeed, but he means your good in the long run. No one likes sitting in the dentist chair, but in the end when we have a beautiful smile, we are indeed grateful.

So it is with this. Perchance you are complaining about it, but it might be the only way. The only way you can really recognize his sanctification in your life is for you to go through it. It will then be that you are more willing to trust him in the long-term. It is by his grace that you will be set free. It won’t be painful, but it will be beneficial.

The weaver is weaving his tapestry and the needles will hurt at times. The silversmith is purifying you in the fire that will burn, but you will reflect his image. The potter is shaping and molding you, but you will have rough handling. Slowly, you are being turned into a work of art reflecting the great artist.

<> Indeed, it will be worthwhile.