The What of God

Once again for this blog, I want to have the disclaimer be clear. What I say is not meant to be extensive. If anything, I am wanting to tickle your appetite. I want you to get your feet wet and go swimming deeper into the ocean yourself. I suspect many of you could be like me and you like something you hold in your hand and what you read online is a supplement as it were to that. At this point, I have no books published that I can point to for your further consideration. That could change in the future, and I have been encouraged to go that way and it is something I think about, 

Yesterday, I discussed the “That” of God, and today, I’d like to discuss the “What”. Some of you might be wondering what the difference is between what and who. Let us suppose you described me in “what” terminology only. What would that include? It would include male, weight, height, body type, age, race, and other physical characteristics. What can tell you what someone can see if they see me walking down the street generally. 

If we get to the who, it is clear that the who does not change the what of my existence, but it gives you something deeper into my existence. The who will include things like “Loves philosophy and apologetics, tries to watch a Smallville every night, particularly shy around many people and not a socialite, loves the intellectual domain, willing to challenge someone at a game of Super Smash Brothers Brawl, etc.” 

Nothing changed with the what of my existence. Notice there are also better potentials for relationship if you know more about me. Let us suppose you are reading this blog and your only contact with me is through the internet. You could know me well. Suppose you talked with me there. You will know me better. Suppose though that you saw me in person. You’ll see sides of me that you can’t see through a computer. My parents know me in one way and they know me well. We all know though that our relationship with our parents is also different than that with our friends and so I could say my roommate, who is my closest friend as I’ve said, could very well know me better in some ways than they do.

Tonight though, we’re going to go into the what and this will include ideas that come from the doctrine of God. Largely, I’m wanting to jump off from Aquinas’s first argument with God as a being of pure actuality. What do I mean by that? Actuality is what something is. Potentially is what something could be. I am, in actuality, sitting. I have the potential to stand. I have just stood up, and now, I am sitting down again. (When you have a steel rod on your spine and your keyboard isn’t even waist high, typing hunched down is not pleasant.) Thus, I actualized a potential to become standing and then actualized potential again to sit. At this point, I again have the potential to stand, though I certainly choose not to at this point.

God is a being of pure actuality. He cannot change in any way. He cannot make progress or degress. If he had potential, then he would need an explanation just as much as the universe does. While Anselm may not have been right on the Ontological Argument, I believe he was accurate in that God is the greatest possible being that can be conceived.

Note also that each of these doctrines of God could be a blog post in itself.

Aquinas started with simplicity. A lot of people are really stunned when I tell them that I believe God is simple. “But God is so hard to understand and he’s so awesome! How can you say he’s simple?” Please note when I say simple, I am not speaking of simple in relation to the human understanding of him. None of us can say we comprehend the nature of God. As has been said, we are fleas sitting on the back of an elephant. 

Simplicity means simply that God and his attributes are not separate things. God is what he has. He does not have truth but is truth. These are attributes that do not exist external to him. They are him. There is not this thing called goodness and this thing called goodness is conjoined to God. Instead, the case is that God is goodness. 

If God is pure actuality, then that would mean also that what he is, he is infinitely and/or completely. He cannot be more good. He cannot be more powerful. He cannot be more knowledgable or wise or loving, etc. Also important is to consider that with the nature of God, God is the only being whose very nature is to exist necessarily. If the Christian God is, and I believe he is of course, he is necessarily. (And there is a fine difference between that and the Ontological Argument.)

Let us also consider power. By power, it is meant that God can do all that can be done by power. I am not going to dare assert that God can make a square circle. A lot of you might be wondering about the classic question “Can God make a rock so big he can’t lift it?” The best answer I have ever heard on this came from Dr. Gary Habermas.

“No.”

It’s that simple. The question is involving a logical contradiction. 

What about omniscience? I take this to mean that God knows all true propositions. For my open theist friends, this also includes future propositions. God knows, for instance, who is going to win the election on November 4th. He knows it just as well as I know the fact that I am typing on my keyboard at this moment. He knows it all from an eternal now.

This brings us to God’s eternity. It means that God can act in time, but God is by nature outside of time. He does not grow old. He does not change. What God is doing, he is eternally doing. He is at this moment creating the world, bringing about the flood, destroying Sodom and Gomorrah, judging the world, and blessing the saints in their after-death. We experience these things temporally, but God is doing them all at once. Were he not, he would be temporal.

I also brought up his immutability, meaning that he cannot change. This follows since he has no potential. What God is, he always is. Personally, this is one of my favorite concepts I think of when I think of God. It makes me realize that with all the hectic nonsense I often have going on in my life, at the end of the day when I pray, which becomes a more exciting time as things go along, I realize that there is a foundation of all things that I can always rely on.

Of course, I would have to speak of the love of God in that God is eternally loving. When we get to the who of God, this will be explained in a far more in-depth way. Some of you are probably already thinking ahead and realizing just how that is going to be and what makes Christian theism unique in that. For now, it will simply suffice to say that God loves all that corresponds to his moral nature. I theorize, and again this is just theorizing at this point, that something is able to experience the love of God to the degree that they correspond to him morally. 

While it’s not often mentioned, I would like to mention the beauty of God. For many believers, and I should think it would be the case for all, one of the great desires of the after-death is to look into the face of Christ, to see him who is the image of the invisible God, and behold the great beauty that is inherent in his person. Beauty captivates many of us today and I sometimes find myself amazed when I think that with all the beauty I see here, it all is practically hideous in comparison to the source of its beauty.

God is also a God of justice, which is something that is not liked to hear by many of our skeptical friends today. We often want a God who will come and heal us when we are sick and take care of the problems in our life, but we don’t like it when God comes and judges the sin that we have in our lives. A lot of people don’t really like a God who acts like one. God is just though and just as much as he loves that which corresponds to his nature, he must judge that which directly contradicts his moral nature as well.

With all of this, we have a good idea of what God is. Who is God though? What is he like? For that, we will have to look at how he has revealed himself and especially in the person of Christ. That is for our next installment.

That, What, And Who

Last night, I said that we’d be discussing various topics on the doctrine of God. Note of course that nothing I say here will be exhaustive. If you want something in-depth on the topic, I recommend getting a good Systematic Theology. I have read both Geisler’s and Erickson’s and I can recommend both of them. What I plan to do is just touch on the surface. 

I was pondering this last night though and trying to decide of the distinctions in the doctrine of God. I have this in mind also because I am in constant debates online and one of them right now is on God’s revelation. The question of “Why hasn’t he made himself clear?” I find this to be an odd question though as some people will say that they can doubt his existence.

This might sound like a shock to you, but I think you can doubt the obvious.

We owe a lot to Rene Descartes. Unfortunately, it’s not good. There’s a reason his work, “A Discourse of Method,” is included as one of the books that screwed up the world. (The list comes from Benjamin Wiker’s book “10 Books that Screwed Up The World And Five Others That Didn’t Help.” My roommate gave me that book for my birthday and I consider it a very important book everyone should read.)

Descartes gave us the idea of doubting everything to find what was true and if it could be doubted, then it wouldn’t be clung to. His end was that he couldn’t doubt he was doubting so he based everything on “I think, therefore I am.” (What happens when you’re asleep or unconscious and not thinking?) Great. Now the idea of what we can rely on is based all on our subjective experience starting with us. 

Descartes even had doubt of the existence of the material world. Now I would say the existence of the material world is obvious and I think most of you would also. There are people who will say they doubt it. What do you say? This is the kind of place where one of my professors says “Well if they doubt reality, it’s best to just go out for pizza then because if reality won’t convince them, what will?”

To me, the existence of God is obvious. In fact, this is the way it is for most of the world. Most people now and throughout history have believed that this world isn’t all that there is. They have been theists of some sort. Now someone might say “They haven’t been Christians though have they?” To this, I must answer, “No, they haven’t.”

As if that was ever the point….

No one is saying by the idea that God’s existence is obvious that that means everyone has always known that the Triune God has or will reveal himself in Jesus Christ. (Will for those B.C. people) What is being said is that people have believed that there is something more than what they see with their own eyes.

The question then is, what are they doing with this idea? Are they willing to follow the idea and seek for the truth instead of settling for worldviews they might hold and realize that they are false? Could it be that there are many people out there who haven’t yet got to hear the gospel but realize the worldview around them is false and are crying out for something real? I believe that those who are such will get the gospel be it by a missionary or some supernatural means. If not, it could be many will arrive in glory one day and look in the face of Christ and say “It was you I was seeking all along was it?”

Of course, I question how many of them that can be so I definitely fully endorse missionary action to bring the gospel to as many people as possible. 

This is the first question that must be answered though in our  discussions. THAT God is. I’m not even going into the nature of the God that is there. It could be Plato’s demiurge that was a finite god now for all I care. The only point to establish is that there is something out there beyond us. What that something is, as who will come later, is a question for another blog.

Beginning At The Beginning

I think it was Aristotle who told us the three most important things to do in telling a story. You need to begin at the beginning, continue through the middle, and finish at the end. That works well for stories. It also works well for arguments. I mentioned in last night’s blog debating someone who was dealing with dbout and what I tried to do was to go to the beginning. 

What is that beginning? Who is God? It’s amazing that we leap into so many thorny issues in relation to moralityand how God relates to that without deciding who he is. Consider if we were discussing the Problem of Evil. If we have a finite godism concept, then the problem of evil makes sense. Of course, it also becomes a real problem then as we can’t really be sure if God will overcome it in the end. If we have the Christian God, it’s not so much a problem as it is a mystery. Let’s suppose we have good reason to believe God has revealed himself in Christ, which we do. If we grant that, then we have to say, “Why evil?” It doesn’t destroy our faith then, but just presents a mystery. (Naturally, for those who don’t believe God has revealed himself in Christ, it counts as a problem.)

Our concept of God changes everything. Take the issue I was discussing with someone, the doctrine of Hell. If we’re going to look at this doctrine, we have to realize that it will be looked at from a Christian framework. It’s saying “Even if I grant everything else in your system, can you really say that Hell is a proper doctrine to believe in?”

Please note how that is worded. When I talk about Hell, I want to be sure that I give no one the impression that I like the doctrine of Hell. I don’t. Dwight L. Moody once said that if anyone ever preaches on Hell, there’d better be tears in his eyes. I’m not sure if I am at that point yet, but I certainly hope I am someday.

I was on an internet chat program one day when a friend contacted me. Our troops had just slain the sons of Saddam Hussein. My friend was pleased that we’d finally eliminated those two evil men. I had to say “You know, I’m glad that they’re not going to be around to inflict pain on anyone else, but I’m also sorrowful because I know two more people have entered Hell and there’s no escape.”

I say that because it is true. Hell should never be a doctrine that brings us delight. Too many Christians give the impression that when the fires of Hell are burning some of their enemies, they want to be right over them roasting marshmallows. I believe we can delight in justice and truth, but the suffering of others, not really. I also don’t think we can say it brings delight to God that people are in Hell, but that’s their choice.

And yes, we will look more at this thorny issue at a later date.

However, if you’re going to discuss Hell, you have to start again with God which is what we too often don’t do. Our arguments usually begin in a rather silly way when you think about it. Consider the Problem of Evil. An atheist would say “Well, if I was God, I could find a much better way to do X.” Oh? Really? You mean there’s no chance that if you suddenly stepped outside of time and had omniscience that you might just think that God has the right idea?

“Well, I wouldn’t like to suffer like that, so surely God wouldn’t allow that.”

It is quite frankly tiring to hear such things. It has been said that many people do wish to serve God, but only as advisors. When I come to the Problem of Evil, I have to look and consider “God knows the end from the beginning. Who am I, this finite being of limited intelligence bound by time to tell him he’s doing it wrong?” That doesn’t mean I don’t think we can’t make our requests known to God or even our complaints, but I do think it means we shouldn’t expect the master of the universe to change everything around just to make us happy.

What’s our concept of God? Maybe it’s time we looked at that. It could make many of the other issues much more understandable.

As He Is

Last night, I was up later than I should be discussing, or more like debating, with someone who was having some doubts about his Christian faith. It hinged around Calvinism. Now I am not a Calvinist, but I have many brothers and sisters in Christ who are. It brought to mind though something we must all remember when we approach God.

First off, none of us knows God entirely. We all have some wrong beliefs about God. We should seek to get rid of as many of them as we can, but in our finite capacities, it’s highly likely that any of us this side of eternity will have fully correct knowledge of God. Even though we are limited even, it’s doubtful that all the knowledge we have will be correct.

There is a great danger though in saying “Well, if that’s the way God is, I could never worship him.” The danger is that that’s the only God you have! Is it really rational to say, “I don’t like the concept of God in Christianity, so I will become a naturalist instead.”? It’s hardly valid to say God doesn’t exist just because you don’t like something about him.

We have to get past this notion that truth is what we like. There are some things I don’t like about Christianity. In fact, it’s probably a good thing because Christianity is not an easy religion. When I see a beautiful lady, I don’t like the command of Christianity that says that sexual intercourse is to be reserved for marriage. It would be so nice to write that off.

When I realize that I have to go to work the next day, I may often have this great urge to call in sick and take sick pay. Unfortunately, there’s this command against lying. I don’t like the command. In fact, at the time, I like the idea of breaking the command. I do it though because I know that the command is the true path to happiness.

So what of God? One has to ask himself, and we should all ask ourselves indeed, “Am I really seeking for the God who is there or am I seeking for the God who I want to be there?” In our day and age, it’s liked to have a god who is there to take away all your troubles but then goes back to his own little corner of the world and lets you go out and have your fun. Many people today do not like the thought of a God who acts like one, which includes such minor details as judging evil. (Well, we don’t usually mind judging someone who’s done evil to us! Just leave us alone thanks!)

God is unlikely to change for you and frankly, why should he? It seems we are so self-centered today that we think it appropriate for God to meet our standards, but we don’t think anything about changing ourselves to meet his. As I told this person yesterday who was talking about Hell as well, it does not surprise me that some people go to Hell. What should be surprising to us is that not all people go to Hell. He could send us all there and who could say he was wrong to do so?

When we think about God, and I believe our highest good is to contemplate the nature of God, are we wanting to see him as he is. Are we willing to give up some of our beliefs about him if we find them to be inaccurate of our view of who he is? If you are a Calvinist, are you willing to forsake it if you find it to be false? If you are an Arminian, are you willing to forsake it if you find it to be false? I’m not saying to not have a position, but I’m saying to be open in your position always. 

We are warned against making images of God. Our danger today is not often physical images but mental ones that do not reflect him. Are you making sure you’re doing what you can to avoid false ideas of God so you can worship him as he is? He won’t change for you, but hopefully, you’ll be willing to change for him.

Thoughts On An American Carol

Today, I first off did my civic duty by going and voting. I did vote for McCain of course. I’ve posted my thoughts on Obama’s abortion stance and his socialistic policies greatly concern me. Being one politically interested, I went to see An American Carol tonight with a friend of mine. Now some parts were a bit corny I thought, but overall, I did enjoy the film.

For those who don’t know, this is a conservative film done by conservatives as a parody of Michael Moore’s films. In a variation of the Christmas Carol classic by Dickens, Michael Malone is visited by John F. Kennedy who tells him that he stood up for America and believed in our nation. To teach Malone true patriotism, Kennedy will have him visited by three spirits.

I’ll grant Kennedy was not my favorite president. He was one though who did believe in using tax cuts and even saw McCarthy as a patriot. Also, for his war service, he was a hero and no one can deny that. I deplore much of what Kennedy did in office, but I do get admiration when I hear about some of the good things he did and how he risked his life to save his fellow soldiers.

The first one to visit Malone is General Patton who is played by Kelsey Grammer. Grammer does excellent. He comes across as a true soldier would who doesn’t hesitate to deal with the enemy and believes in America. It’s a performance that leaves one wanting to go out and fight for the greater causes that are out there and ponder that yes, this truly is the greatest nation on Earth. 

Patton shows Malone anti-war demonstrations going back to F.D.R. and how the Neville Chamberlain technique doesn’t work. Dictators and others who are just evil don’t understand peace talks. Let it be clear. No one likes war. No one should at least. Sometimes though, we have to do things we don’t like to achieve greater goods. 

Patton also took Malone to a university showing the indoctrination that is going on. It would be unbelievable if one didn’t see signs of it going on. Historical revisionism is now a reality and the more young people I talk to, and I speak as one of them even, the more I am convinced we are raising up a generation that doesn’t know how to think.

Most amusing in this part is the scene with the zombie ACLU lawyers trying to take down the Ten Commandments from a courthouse. The scene is made to be like a Resident Evil game with having to shoot down the enemy. The truth is that often times the enemy is right in our midst and that sadly, in the idea of not wanting to offend anyone, we have left ourselves open many times. When my Dad and I flew to New York once, we were pulled out of line by security for a check. I wasn’t bothered by it at all. (Fortunately, I had a card with me to explain my back having steel setting off security.) In fact, I was honored by it. I was proud to know that people were out there trying to keep me safe. I don’t know about you all, but when I fly, I want to feel safe on a plane. 

Malone also goes to see Bill O’Reilly who is interviewing “Roise O’Connell” making a video about Radical Christians. The whole video shows the way Christianity is nothing like Islam and is not the threat it is often thought to be. The idea of Christians taking over planes with crosses and Bibles or nuns blowing up buses is ludicrous.

The idea of Islamic terrorists taking over cockpits and blowing up buses isn’t.

The next spirit that visits Malone and only briefly is the spirit of George Washington who talks about the church he attended and how he prayed there often. He shows Malone the remains of 9-11 and how 3,000 innocent human beings died that day along with the people who tried to rescue them. Let us be sure of this. We will never forget that day. For those interested, Washington was played by Jon Voight. 

The final was the Angel of Death who was played by country singer Trace Adkins. Adkins takes Malone to a Hollywood that has been taken over by Muslims. Then, he takes him to a Detroit that has been hit by a nuclear strike with Malone as a victim being laughed at. After all of this, Malone changes his ways and does so just in time to foil a terrorist plot and renounce a gathering he had had to remove the celebration of the 4th of July.

Overall, I was very pleased with this film. While it was a bit corny at times, I found myself thinking “What did go into the history of this great nation of mine?” I found myself thinking maybe it is time I started digging a little bit more. This election has increased my interest in politics, but one dare not have an interest in American politics in America unless they have an interest in America. Politics should be about making a good society. Are we doing our part in America to make a good society?

Abortion And The Election

Like many of you, I did watch the presidential debate last night. I’ve been avoiding writing on it often, but there are times that I think that a man can’t stay silent. My blog isn’t about politics specifically though. It’s about the Christian faith. However, the two do often intersect. The way I see it, by my nature, I am a human being first. My religious heritage is next in importance as I am a Christian. My national heritage comes after that in that I am an American. Finally, my political tradition is next and in case you haven’t guessed, I am a strong Republican conservative.

I am quite concerned with this election. We have had leftist candidates before, but I don’t think we’ve ever had anyone as left as Barack Obama. If there is one issue though where we often here talk about faith and politics intersecting, it is in the topic of abortion. Fortunately, that was an issue that was raised in the debate last night.

One ironic statement made was that this should be a woman’s decision. The irony is that this reeked of a post I made recently here:

http://deeperwaters.wordpress.com/2008/09/24/i-dont-have-a-uterus/

Ironically, a lone comment there raised some points about that post I agree with. I have to agree that it is a very dumb argument, but I brought it up because we often do encounter dumb arguments and some of them are so dumb we’re not even sure how to answer them. The following is the comment that was made:

These types of discussions– arguing against a lame “uterus” argument from a woman who is an idiot and happens to be pro-choice only helps to perpetuate a trivialization of a woman’s ability to choose. I don’t think I would trust this person with any decision. Of course it seems ridiculous to trust this woman to make a decision about life. Seems like a cheap foundation to build a pro-life argument on.

Pointing to child support as a man’s responsibility is not necessarily the case, and turns the woman into a victim– who would trust such a victim with the responsibility to make a decision about life (since she clearly cannot care for a child on her own). Making an argument against choice using this ridiculous pro-choice person, and irrelevant financial and circumcision decisions is a waste. Pick a real and logically sounds pro-lifer’s argument to discuss, please.

End.

Of course, this wasn’t the only thing said by Obama last night. For the rest of what I say, I am largely in debt to Francis Beckwith, an excellent philosopher with a great book called “Defending Life” that anyone wanting to defend the life of the unborn should read. His blog at FrancisBeckwith.com called “Southern Appeal” has an article and now a response to a critic from Robert George. Who is that? Let’s see what the article says about him in description.

Robert P. George is McCormick Professor of Jurisprudence and Director of the James Madison Program in American Ideals and Institutions at Princeton University. He is a member of the President’s Council on Bioethics and previously served on the United States Commission on Civil Rights. He sits on the editorial board of Public Discourse. 

I just wish to bring out some highlights. In his first essay, Robert George points out that not only is Obama pro-choice (Though I prefer pro-abortion), he is the most pro-choice candidate we have ever had and each time you think things have gone as far as they could, George assures you that they get worse. I urge all concerned voters to read the article. Robert George has done his homework.

In another article though, he responds to a critic and speaks about what Obama said related to a Born Alive Act last night. The law was seen to be inadequate and didn’t really deal with the situation as it was still a judgment call on the part of the doctor. This is why a nurse like Jill Stanek found a dying baby in a soiled linen closet.

While an act that followed at the start of the 21st century did well in D.C., it didn’t so well in the Illinois Senate. Some were concerned that abortion rights would be limited if the bill were allowed to pass. The most prominent one and the only one that actually spoke against it when it was being debated was Obama.

Even when it was changed so that there was a neutrality aspect to identity and said nothing about the legal status of a human being before birth, it was still voted down. Obama was leading the charge.

Friends. I say this because frankly, I’m concerned. Abortion isn’t my only issue when I go to the polls, but it’s a big one. I do have a dream of seeing Roe V. Wade overturned someday and I do believe that that will come about by getting people who will at least be open to the pro-life position. This is especially true with the Supreme Court where the trouble originally began.

I also think that when I vote, I want to keep in mind that there are future lives at risk. Is the next generation going to be around to see the fruit of my voting? For me, voting is an honor and a privilege. I get to take part in the leadership of this great nation that I have been blessed to be a part of. This is how the system works. Rest assured, I have no problem with abortionists going out there and making their case and wanting people to vote their way. That’s part of how the system works. All voices are to be heard in the public square and we are to debate the issue and respond accordingly.

My hope is that when you go to the polls though, if this is an issue for you as it is for me, you will have the facts there. As I have said, this is an issue for me and I don’t even enjoy writing largely in a political way, but I just don’t think I can stay silent any more.

Obama, Socialism, And My Story

I started a thread on TheologyWeb where I often post about what Barack Obama said to a plumber who is concerned about his tax plans. I won’t deny it here. I am not a fan of Obama in any way. I urge you if you are though to not stop reading now. I’m not writing this to attack him specificially. My stance is against his for another reason though. I wrote on this on TheologyWeb and a wise friend suggested I blog about it. I resisted it, but I thought eventually I might as well. 

My stance was that I find what was said insulting. I don’t appreciate the idea that if I’m going to be a success, I need the help of the government. Someone responded to me and told me that some people have inequalities and it isn’t as easy for them so get over it. Now that really ticked me off and I had to respond and I am giving a longer form here of what I said there.

I’ll also say that this is something difficult to write. My wise friend would tell me that if anyone attacked me for anything I said here though, it would be their problem. I agree with her astute wisdom once again.

The truth is, I have those inequalities. My scoleosis is well-known actually though. In speaking about that, I’m not really limited. I played ultimate frisbee earlier this month at our Seminary and I was the fastest one on the field. It is interesting to go to the Y though and be at the mirror and keep trying to contort myself in every way to see the scar on my back and how it is, but I can’t. No one has ever asked me about it though, but I honestly wouldn’t mind if they did.

At an earlier age, I was diagnosed as autistic. Some people think I’m Asperger’s, so I prefer to say Aspie/Autistic these days. I’m not sure what it is entirely, but I will say life is difficult at times. If I get in a social situation, I’m not really the best. I thrive on the intellectual. I see the world through a different set of eyes. I can illustrate this with my coming into work today and a co-worker trying to engage me in a conversation. This person started the conversation.

“Hi!”

“Hi….”

“How are you?”

“Hello.”

“Anything new?”

“Hello.”

“Are you reading anything new?”

” ‘The Trinity’ by Saint Augustine.”

The other questions are the small talk questions that don’t really go over so well. I never know exactly what to say with my penchant of wanting to be honest and realizing that if I’m honest in this case and I’m feeling great, what will happen in the day when I’m not? If I’m not feeling great today, then it is not appropriate to be honest.

If anyone wants more info on this, I recommend reading a chapter of a book by a guy with Asperger’s named “John Robison” called “Look Me In The Eye.” The chapter is called “Logic and Small Talk.” I read through it at the bookstore and thought the guy was inside my head. This is a book I definitely plan to buy someday.

Let me go back to my history some though and talking about inequalities.

I remember being taken by my parents often to the Birth Defects Center as it’s believed I have some muscle disease also that limits my strength. It’s not conclusive. A muscle biopsy didn’t reveal anything as far as I know and I don’t think about it much, but the autism aspect I think was a strong reason behind my being there.

Let me be clear. My parents are very good people and very supportive. They didn’t do perfect though. They shielded me from a lot and I had to learn a lot when I got out on my own, but I did prove to them that I can handle things and with their last visit here to see me, they got to see that firsthand. It’s still hard for them of course, but they’re pleased. They are also both Christians who raised me in the church.

I also hate that kind of term though of the place I was. “Birth defects.” I may not be functioning on all cylinders like everyone else, but I am not a defective product. Could it be part of our view that tends to treat people like they’re machines? I do not socialize well. That is true. Because of my condition though, I do a lot of other things well.

As an example, I was talking to a philosopher friend of mine on Facebook recently and he was surprised when I told him I’ve never had a formal class on logic. He told me he was stunned because I seemed to have such a grasp of it. Well that’s the way my mind works. I can see a 10-digit number and memorize it. I do mathematics the way a lot of people breathe. It’s just innate. 

However, many counselors seeing me growing up were quite hesitant. I was told for instance that I would never finish High School.

I was in public high school and I didn’t have special help. The only case really was when I had the scoleosis surgery and due to physical weakness then, someone else had to carry my bags for me and I had to leave class five minutes early so I wouldn’t be out in the hall during the rush when the students got let out.

Nevertheless, I finished. I would say I was a lazy student though simply because I did not need to study. I grasped ideas immediately and was able to recall them. Did I interact with students a lot though in things like dating and such? No. I had a lot of crushes, but I didn’t really act on them. My friends were few, but they were there.

I graduated though. Okay. The other side was wrong.

So I go to Bible College. I hadn’t even heard of apologetics yet, but there was a lot of stuff going on in my life and I needed to find answers and I had a natural grasp of the Bible and I had friends telling me I should be in ministry as I was already doing evangelism on the internet and actually enjoying that more than anything else. 

How did I get there? My family is not rich. VOCRehab paid for my education. It’s an organization that pays for those with “disabilities.” They didn’t really like my choice though. They urged me to not go into ministry as my mind could be better put to use in something like engineering (Which I had no interest in) and I just couldn’t speak well of course.

It’d have been nice if they’d had been there when I preached my senior sermon before the faculty and student body of my Bible College which would be about 1,000 people.

I loved my college years and was increasingly educating myself. For the first time after having discovered apologetics, I was buying books and books and books. Last night, I told my roommate that I’m going to need to go and buy another bookcase. This had never happened with any interest before. Before too long, I was an authority.

Did I graduate? Yes. I am the first in my family in a long time to have a college degree. Looks like VOC Rehab was wrong.

However, I have yet to get a ministry position and in my hometown, I eventually knew that I wanted to come where I am now. I moved out on my own to a local apartment which my folks had concern about. Nevertheless, I proved to them that I can budget and in fact, they tell me that I budget better than my married sister. 

VOC Rehab when they found out had offered to give me classes on living on my own. Forget it. I don’t need a class on that. I taught myself much of what I know. They also offered to have someone help me get a job. Don’t get me wrong. I don’t care for my job at all. However, I also wanted to be sure of something. I plan to get a job because I’ve earned it and not because I need help due to disability.

I got accepted to the Seminary I wanted to go to and I am there now. My president knows my condition as do much of the staff. I try to be open with them about it. They don’t treat me the way they do out of pity though. They do it because they respect me and believe that I have the ability to do the things that I want to do.

I work right now in a situation where I am doing a non-intellectual job that is socially geared. It’s anathema to me. That kind of stuff just wears me out. When there’s too much activity going on and too many people talking, it wrecks my thinking. It is that time at the end of the day when I sit down and read or do something else I enjoy that I get restored.

I am especially thankful for my friends, especially my roommate. I find it amazing at times that he willingly agreed to live with me knowing all these things about me. It is thinking of a friend like him that gives me some comfort in whatever goes on in my life. Of course, this doesn’t discount my Christian faith as keeping me going, but I’m so thankful that God gave me friends.

Sometimes, those of us with Autism/Asperger’s are seen as rude and we really have a huge disadvantage. If you see someone in a wheelchair, you don’t challenge them to a footrace. If you see someone without arms, you don’t ask them to play a game of catch. When you see me though, I look like everyone else. You can’t see a social disorder like that.

My friends though are the ones that I can be open with, but even still I can be guarded. I speak more with sounds and actions. Music plays a big part as I usually have a tune or a song in my mind. I will often try to gesture to someone that I don’t know. It’s a lot easier to me than talking and frankly, I can’t tell you why. The exception is if the conversation is about something I know and it can be anything. Talking about Smallville, for instance, can get someone into my world.

Btw, that’s another reason I love Smallville. I see a lot of myself in Clark Kent. Why? Clark Kent lives with a secret and he looks like everyone else. He wrestles so much with existential struggles involving his humanity and what it means. How are people supposed to feel? Nevertheless, he’s out there trying to use his abilities to make the world a better place.

Now what about VOC Rehab also? Are they paying for my Seminary? Nope. I made something clear. I would not get my education out of pity. I would get it out of ability. I am paying for everything. If I earn a scholarship, that is different. Right now, I’m not sure how things will be paid for, but they will be. I have some dentistry bills coming. I’m not sure how it will be paid for, but it will be. 

What does this have to do with Obama and his statement? Here’s the truth. I don’t want pity. I want the government to simply ensure that I can have the freedom to go out and make a success of myself. I consider Obama’s idea that I need that help an insult. Do I have an inequality? Yes I do. Don’t underestimate me though. I have overcome a lot thus far and I can rest assured any detractors out there that we’ve only just begun.

Love For The Homosexual

I recently spoke at my church on the topic of homosexuality in relation to the Supreme Court in Connecticut deciding last Friday to lift the ban on same sex marriages. (Please note that I do not consider them to be marriages in any way though.) Afterwards, someone came up to me and asked me the question of how to handle dealing with a homosexual co-worker.

This is a difficult topic for we Christians. On the one hand, we want to paint the reality of sin as it really is. On the other hand, we don’t want to come out with all barrels blazing and drive the sinner away. How is it that one can come to the homosexual and call homosexuality sin but yet reveal to the homosexual that he is a creation in the image of God?

In fact, this is something that we could say we have to do with everyone. We all deal with people who are dealing with various sins. In fact, the one that we deal with the most is ourselves. I don’t know about you, but I could easily identify a number of sins in my life that I struggle with and yet, I still have to realize that I am loved in the eyes of God.

I think homosexuality is different though. We could talk about someone who wants to give up alcohol for instance and can’t seem to do it. Alcohol is something more external to you though, though I don’t deny the reality of addiction. Sexuality is who you are. It is your very nature. It is what you live with every day of your life. Sex is not a function. It is an aspect of your nature.

Something that should be kept in mind is that this is a real Christian struggle also. Christian men and women can struggle with this issue and we need to have love for those who do and recommend good Christian counseling. I say Christian because modern secular counseling will try to convince someone that such activity is not a sin.

I was first asked though what the causes of homosexuality were in my opinion. I pointed to an absent father, an overbearing mother, and personal insecurity. Ultimately, it’s a self-image concept. It is in realizing that that we can begin to see where the healing should take place. Keep in mind as I say this that I am not a trained psychologist in any way. 

My first piece of advice to this guy was that in dealing with his friend, that he should not really talk about religious matters. The first thing needed is to be a friend. Let me be clear on this. I think men should minister to homosexual men and I think women should minister to homosexual women. Now that doesn’t mean a woman can’t share the gospel with a homosexual man, but if you have any control over the situation, let a man work with a man and a woman work with a woman.

I am going to be writing for men here, but I think the same could apply to women and they need to adjust accordingly. I once worked with a man who is a homosexual still as far as I know before I moved. I simply was a friend to him and let him borrow some of my video games for instance that he was interested in. We never talked about religion, but I do not doubt my religion was known. It was common knowledge around the workplace. He and I even went out to a local pizzeria once on our lunch break.

Did I think some people could make jokes behind my back? Sure. Let them though. I was being a friend and trying to make a point clear. You are accepted as a man. Not just as a person but as a man. This is one reason a good lady is so important to a man. When a man realizes that his lady sees him as a man, then stand back. This guy can do anything!

Then, I would say to let him bring it up. Let him ask what makes you so different from all the others, and especially hope he says “All the other Christians.” It’s at that point that you can go into communicative evangelism. I would begin first by talking about Christ. Talk about who he is and what he did. Eventually, you’re going to have to get into sin though.

This is also where we need to recognize the difference between the person and the actions they are committing. People are sinners, but it is not a necessary trait to being a human that one be a sinner also. There is the possibility of change not into something that is less than human but something fully human. God enables each person to become what they were meant to be. Soren Kierkegaard once prayed that with God’s help, he would become himself.

Of course, all of this should be done with prayer. The best thing still is to treat him as a man. Make sure that he is seen as one of the guys and before too long, he might begin to think that he is and one aspect of being one of the guys, is noticing all of those lovely women that we are blessed to live amongst on Earth.

The Problem of Evil: A Perspective From The Dentist’s Chair

Okay you health nuts out there. The Deeper Waters blogger is not the best in the area of health and today, I spent my first visit in the dentist’s chair to get some cavities filled today. It had been awhile since I had to got to go to a dentist when I moved and when I did, I found out that I had eight cavities. Joy! Four of them were filled today.

Greg Koukl has written about saying before that the dentist’s chair is a great place to think about the Problem of Evil. Apparently, it runs in the history of apologetics. C.S. Lewis even once said that people say they believe in a God of love and don’t understand pain. He wanted to know if any of them had ever been to a dentist.

So there I am sitting in the chair and frankly, I have no idea what’s going on. I thank God for the numbing agent they give beforehand, but I see my dentist trying to tell me to open as wide as I can and honestly, I don’t think I can open any wider. Finally, something was used to make sure my mouth would stay open. The same commands were repeated to look a certain way a number of times and I’d realize after awhile that I had tensed up.

It’s amazing how many motives you can question at that time and it is clear to me then that my reason was not in charge but my imagination was. Blaise Pascal once said that you could take the most astute man of reason you could find and place him on a plank of sufficient size and put that plank over a huge chasm and you can be sure, his imagination will take over his rationality. 

There were many times I’d see all these tools and some of them gave the impression of “I’m not getting a filling! I’m getting that tooth yanked!” Had my reason been functioning properly then, although one could have interpreted the scene that way, I would have realized that having a tooth yanked instead would have led to a huge lawsuit and no dentist would risk that. The reason is not kicking in though. It’s all fear.

One thing that makes it difficult is that I had no idea what my dentist was doing. I saw all these implements being stuck in my mouth and not sure what they were all doing. I am quite sure that at one time I had four things stuck in my mouth and here I can’t even see what they all exactly are or what they are all exactly doing.

Yet I’m allowing it and sitting here. (Okay. A part of me wants to jump up and run, but I didn’t.)

Could it have been explained? Maybe, but it’s not likely I would have understood the terms of modern dentistry. All that I had to do was realize that I had come to have a service done and that I should trust that that service would be resolved properly. Do I have any reason to think that my dentist doesn’t have my best interests at heart. The only reason is the present pain and awkwardness.

Notice something in our dealing with the Problem of Evil there. I had to look at something outside of the pain as an explanation. In dealing with the problem of evil, if all I had to deal with was evil and pain, then yeah, I can see how someone would be an atheist. I live in a world though of pleasure, beauty, and goodness. A world that is designed. I find other arguments for God’s existence and I find the evidence for the resurrection of Christ compelling.

Just like being in the dentist’s chair, I can’t let the pain I experience when evil strikes be the only aspect I consider. I have to look and see if there are aspects I’m missing. It is at this point that I look to the nature of the one who I have come to and have to think “Even though I don’t have a clue what he’s doing and he’s not telling me and it hurts and feels awkward, I have to trust.” (For those concerned, the hurt was not screaming in agony pain, but more a sensation that wouldn’t be considered pleasant, but numbing agents do work!)

One final aspect I would like to mention was what I was thinking about and asked my dentist about afterwards. I asked if he the reason he was drilling also was that the hole that needed to be filled had to be made bigger before it could be filled. He said “Yes.” I realized then that I truly had a blog I could write about tonight.

There are times that our problems are allowed to get worse. There are times the darkness is allowed to get darker. There are times the situation is allowed to get more grave. That’s often though so a greater good can come. Lazarus was allowed to die so that God’s glory could be revealed. Christ himself was allowed to go to the grave so we could all be sure we wouldn’t stay in it either.

In conclusion, as I consider it, I am well today, although still a bit numb and avoiding that side of my mouth for meals, but I realize I can trust my dentist. I don’t have to understand all he did or why he did it, but I realize that I must keep the goal in mind. It was the greater good.

I Love Friendship

I spoke today at my church on the topic of homosexuality in response to the Connecticut Supreme Court decision to life the ban on homosexual marriages. One aspect I touched on was that just because two people live together does not mean they should have the privileges of marriage. I gave as an example, my roommate and I.

Later, I recalled an event that we had happen once where two Jehovah’s Witnesses came to our apartment and accused us of being homosexuals after just meeting us. They didn’t come right out and say it but talked about how evil the world is and said “Just look at you two for instance, living together like this.”

I’m sorry, but I don’t know much other way to take that.

However, as I ponder it, in many ways, that’s a kind of back-handed compliment. Friendship between men is often lacking I think and if two friends are close enough that they can be told a remark like that, then that is a close friendship. As I have witnessed events over the past year though, I have come to see more and more how important friendship is.

I could tell you many times that my roommate did something for me that was totally unexpected and yet, it was done. I could not explain it but in my mind I was thinking “Wow.” Often times, it’s not even explicit things. It is implicit things that I notice from the actions done that show that I am being considered in a way I would not have realized.

Of course, this goes both ways. As I said in my message today, if he was heading home and he got in a car accident, I would be the first one at the hospital. No doubt about it! Our friendship is unique and I would do whatever I could to help him out. There is no sense in even asking the question. Simply put, there is no question about it.

Aristotle spoke highly of friendship amongst the virtues and while there was a golden mean for the other virtues, there wasn’t for friendship. He even believed that friendship was essential for happiness and said that the essence of friendship was living together. Of course, that takes on a new connotation when one gets married where the spouse becomes one’s best friend, but even still, the true friends you’ve had will remain true friends throughout.

It also makes one think of the future. What will it mean when we each marry some beautiful ladies? I think of time with him and with other friends I’ve made here as well as we watch our children grow up together and start our careers. Should I get a book published, I can imagine them telling other friends that they knew me beforehand and getting those free author’s copies and acknowledgments going out to them.

Friendship is just unique. It is a chosen relationship like no other. One could say that the eros relationship is done for bodily pleasure, though few of us today I think would say we marry solely for that reason, but with friendship, the pleasure is in the joy of the other person and how you share the good and bad times together.

Friends are those people you can be open and honest with. My roommate gets a unique trust from me that my own family doesn’t even get. It’s just a different relationship and I’m sure there are many men out there that can relate to that. There are things you will tell your friends that you would never dream of telling your parents.

It’s something that needs to be restored also. In talking about homsoexuality, one person came to me afterwards and asked how he can help a man he works with who he’s trying to evangelize who is homosexual. I gave the advice of being a friend. Men who struggle often need good male friends who will just be friends with them and accept them as men. When it comes to talking about Christianity, don’t talk about sin first. Talk about Christ and his grace.

Friendship is a gift from God. I urge anyone who wants to consider more to get a copy of C.S. Lewis’s book “The Four Loves” and read on Phileo. Naturally, the Nicomachean Ethics of Aristotle as well. Something to consider is that friendship was a unique term in Plato as well. In the dialogue that discusses what a friend is, which is called Lysis, at the end, Socrates isn’t sure how to define it as per most dialogues, but he wants to depart from those he was dialoguing with as friends.

I think there’s a really deep truth to that.