One Year Later: Different Interests

Hello everyone and welcome back to Deeper Waters where we are diving into the ocean of truth. I’ve been busy the last two days and I will be out of town the next two so there will be no blogs. However, before heading out tomorrow, I plan to write tonight about appreciating one another’s interests.

My wife and I do have really different interests. I am a bookworm and she is not. I prefer the intellectual and she prefers the emotional. However, we also have several similar interests. I married a girl who would much rather go see a James Bond film than a chick flick. When we visited my parents last, my Dad and her and I all went to see Green Lantern together.

Also, we enjoy many of the same games. We can talk together about Final Fantasy and Kingdom Hearts. We have a Wii and one day, I decided to go through the original Super Mario Brothers on it and she wanted to do so with me. (Unfortunately, even though I chose the challenging route of no warp zones, she still never got a turn. Oh well.)

But the different interests are the ones that take work. Some of these you will find that you enjoy. My wife likes the Samurai Warriors games and now I have found that I like them as well. She also likes a lot of Anime. Now there have been series we’ve watched together that I haven’t cared for, but there have been some I’ve really enjoyed. I even used Death Note when I spoke at ISCA this year.

On her end, she has gone through the entire series of Smallville with me. (There are still some unbelievers out there who think that the series ended in May. It can’t end! It has to be a trick! It’s too good to end!) Anyway, when the finale played in May, we were watching it together along with another friend of mine. I’ve also introduced her to other games that she’d never really seen. (We have a ten year age difference so I get to show her much she didn’t know about)

She prefers art, and honestly, I haven’t understood it. So one night I just ask her “Honey. What do you see there because honestly, I’m not seeing it.” Some people might think such a question rude, but she knew I was asking sincerely wanting to know, so I took the time to listen to what my wife was seeing and soon came to realize I was missing much in the world of art.

This is what we have to do. I have no doubt that my wife will never have the same interest in my field that I do and I won’t have the interest in hers that she does, but we can support one another. I may not be an artist, but I want to support her learning to be a good artist. She, meanwhile, is not an apologist, but she seeks to support me in my apologetic ministry.

Take the time to understand what your spouse loves. That’s showing interest in them. If you really don’t have the same passion, admit it, but don’t discourage it. I may never want to pick up a pencil and draw like she does, but I sure want to encourage her in it. She may never want to argue like I do, but she knows when the chance shows up to deal with the atheist, to step back because I will enjoy myself and it is something that energizes me.

As long as it does not detract from holiness, should you not support your spouse in what encourages them? Their world is part of yours too. If you don’t enjoy it, at least respect it and help them in it.

We shall continue next time.