Category: Apologetics

Why Autism Awareness Month Matters To Me

Why do I care about this month? Let’s plunge into the Deeper Waters and find out.

I hate it when June comes around. It’s a time when we try to celebrate what I consider perversion, as if it’s not forced down my throat the rest of the year. I notice when black history month rolls around or women’s history month or any other month by a group that is deemed politically relevant, everyone tries to speak at that time. Everyone wants to virtue signal.

April, I get crickets.

Now don’t get me wrong. I don’t want to be a political pawn. I don’t want people to acknowledge this month just because they’re trying to show how virtuous they are without the substance. I despise fake.

I’m also not at all wanting to call this a pride month. Being on the spectrum is not an accomplishment in itself. Now what I do in overcoming the hurdles, that can be an accomplishment, but the fact I have a condition doesn’t make me automatically special.

What I do consider it is a chance to invite others into my own world and let them know what it’s like. I recall a time a friend contacted me when he found out his son was on the spectrum. Everyone else he talked to treated it like a cancer diagnosis. I told him to be thankful immediately. He was going to see the world through a whole new set of ideas he had never seen before.

What a shock that that was the best word that he heard and it has proven to be true.

This month can be special because people do realize that some of us are different. Some of us do have extra hurdles to overcome. We don’t want to be babied as we overcome them, but we welcome those who come alongside us and help us on the journey.

I’m a gamer. You know that. I think of having a party in a quest. In Final Fantasy XIV, as an example, when you go into a dungeon, you have your tank. This is the guy who takes all the hard hits and draws the attention of the enemies. Then you have the healers. These are the ones who keep the tank and everyone else alive. Finally, you have the damage dealers. These are the ones who defeat the enemies for the most part.

A party without one of these units will not survive. A party all one type of unit will not survive. You need a full party. You need everyone to do their part. I have my part I can do, but I’m thrilled to have other people join me who have strengths where I am weak.

That’s why I prefer the term awareness. It’s just saying to notice that some people are different, and that’s okay. I realize not everyone is high-functioning. That’s also okay. I do have a gift in that way in that I can speak for others. I’m glad to do it.

Also, keep in mind that sadly a lot of people on the spectrum are atheists and agnostics because so much Christian language is hard to relate to and abstract concepts can be hard to think about. Please keep this in mind. Pray for the Autism community. We need Jesus just as much as the neurotypicals do.

In Christ,
Nick Peters
(And I affirm the virgin birth)

Things To Understand

What are some things I wish people knew about life on the spectrum? Let’s plunge into the Deeper Waters and find out.

Life on the spectrum is exciting for me, but sometimes, I know I seem odd in public. These are things I wish people knew more about me. Note that this is just me on the spectrum. Many things could apply to others on the spectrum or they might not apply to some at all. When you meet one person, you’ve met one person.

First off, if anything here is truly something that needs to change, consider autism an explanation. It is not always a justification.

Eye contact is hard. If I’m not looking in your eyes, it doesn’t mean I don’t care. If I am in such a situation, I mentally have to tell myself to look in someone’s eyes and even then, it’s a strain.

If I seem to be doing something else, it doesn’t mean I am not paying attention to you. My former in-laws found this out once when I visited them and I was playing my 3DS and they thought I wasn’t paying attention, until they found out I could repeat everything they said back to them. If anything, many times, this can be help me focus better.

This also helps if I attend a talk somewhere. If I am in the audience and on my phone, I am actually hearing what you say. This helps me to better pay attention. If I’m not, I can easily have my mind wander away and miss everything.

I am not an emotional person, but it doesn’t mean I don’t have them. I can have happiness and joy, but I can also have sorrow and loss. I can also have anxiety at times and I don’t know why.

Some social situations are very stressful to me. I can go to a function where several people get together and we’re supposed to socialize, especially over food. It’s really hard for me. Please understand that. Also, please don’t ask me if I want to get anything. If I wanted to, I would have.

Please don’t ask me a question like “How are you?” I am sure you mean well, but it’s a vague question and I don’t know how much you want to know. I would prefer a simple “Hello,” instead.

I am sure you mean well, but if I don’t know you and trust you well enough, please don’t touch me. I especially hate it when people touch my back due to my steel rod. I can like touch at times, but someone has to be at the place where I can trust them and that is a place that is earned. However, if you ask, I could be more open.

I am an introvert, but even I sometimes like to be around other people. Loneliness is very real, especially when you’ve been divorced. I could want to do something with you more than you realize.

I would rather speak to a crowd of 100 people than to speak to one stranger face-to-face. The internet has been a gift as it has helped me find a voice to talk to people I normally wouldn’t get to. Even when I do evangelism for class, I normally need someone else to initiate conversation.

Speaking of such, your experience of Christianity and mine are very different. Most modern praise choruses I find simply shallow. Give me the old classic hymns, especially “Holy, Holy, Holy.” Don’t tell me about an experience of Christianity as I don’t find many concepts, such as the leading of the Holy Spirit, taught in Scripture.

Understand I will often take your language literally. Be careful with what you say. Sometimes, I do this to be humorous, but many times, I honestly don’t understand how you’re speaking.

I speak sarcasm fluently, but I’m often horrible at recognizing it.

Sometimes I need assurances things are okay between us. I don’t often know where you stand based on your body language. I often can wonder if I have offended you and be concerned about it.

In a conversation, I could be often trying to figure out everything you’re saying in every way and if it’s not a concept I’m familiar with, I can lag. I’m trying to interpret many signals at once I don’t understand. If I seem to bounce back to an earlier point, that’s why.

I find jokes funny constantly and they never stop. If I have a running joke with you, you are in a very good position. If I normally joke with you and I suddenly stop without any apparent reason, there is a reason. I joke more with people I feel safe around.

I have my personal obsessions. I can go on endlessly with you talking about Smallville and I know my video games exceptionally well, but I’m also as readers of this blog obviously know a fanatic when it comes to theology, philosophy, history, economics, etc. There are many areas I like to learn about always.

Friends mean so much to me. To have people I can rely on around me is an immense relief. When people show me they’re thinking about me, it’s incredible. It tells me I am not out of sight and out of mind.

I will often speak wordlessly. Sometimes the words are there, but it’s like there’s a mental block in my head that I can’t get past. This can often be seen as rude when I am silent, but it is not my intention. It really stings when I hear people speaking when they think I can’t hear about me being rude.

I get nervous in food situations. That’s my side of the spectrum. If I’m around people I don’t know well enough and there’s a meal going on, it gets me nervous. I tend to avoid church gatherings centered around a meal. If I visit and don’t eat anything, it’s not my trying to be rude. It’s just uncomfortable for me and I’m extremely finicky anyway.

Speaking of friends from earlier, I’m extremely loyal to mine. I want to do everything I can to help you out. One reason I want to get a lady in my life is I love getting to adore someone.

Many people on the spectrum have various habits that they do. I tend to hum video game music. It’s something that gives me a sense of adventure in my life.

I like things to be orderly. I run on a tight schedule. Generally, I will take a shower at 7 every night. I will turn off my games two hours before bed, be on my computer doing work for the next hour, and then spend the next hour before turning out the light playing some light games on my Kindle as well as a little light reading.

I honestly don’t notice many things like hygiene. If I miss a spot shaving, that’s why. Even when I’m doing that kind of thing, I have to keep my mind occupied and I’m usually reading a book at the same time.

Vague terms don’t make sense to me. I’ve recently found this out as now it makes sense why when I was sick as a child and my mother would ask “How do you feel today?” I never knew what to say exactly. Give me something specific I can work with.

If you want to get into my world easier, speak about my interests. It’s a great way to open me up.

If you come forward wanting to immediately be my friend and are really extroverted, I will be wary of you immediately.

I am capable of a lot more than you realize. When you try to tell me I am not capable of something when I am convinced that I am, you just increase my drive all the more. Telling me I am not just means you don’t believe in me to me. It means so much when people believe in me and invest in me.

If you must correct me on something, be gentle and please let me know we’re okay at the end. That assurance means a lot. At the same time, I’m not a child. It’s a fine line, but we can find it together.

That’s a lot, but one more thing to understand…..

I am also in the image of God just as you are. I happen to love my Christian walk and I see Jesus as my king and try to serve Him to the best of my ability. I consider my autism a gift as it allows Christ to shine through in my weaknesses all the more when the world said I wouldn’t succeed at all.

There are plenty of other people on the spectrum. Like I said, some of what I said will apply to them. Some won’t. Get to know the person you’re dealing with. We’re all individuals.

In Christ,
Nick Peters
(And I affirm the virgin birth)

The Path of Overcoming

What have I gone through so far? Let’s plunge into the Deeper Waters and find out.

I have been writing about the case of Zoraya Ter Beek, the lady who wants to have herself killed. She has depression, Borderline, and Autism. I can’t speak to living as Borderline, but I can speak to living with the other two. Mainly, I want to write about Autism. I wrote that life is hard for everyone and I have had to overcome challenges so I figured with this month being Autism Awareness Month, why not do that?

As you read this, realize I am only talking about myself. A parent might say “Well, my child is not high-functioning like you are.” Okay. I’m not wanting to undermine anyone else or say “Because I did it, everyone on the spectrum can.” Not a bit.

So anyway, my parents could tell I was different early on. Mainly because I spoke in a way that only close relatives could understand me. Also, my diet was extremely finicky and still is to this day. Not only that, I was unusually intelligent.

The story goes that the first book I was reading was a big white Bible we had. I would look over it every day and they do know I asked about this one word in it. Chapter.

One day, my Dad took me to the mall with him and went to a store, I think Service Merchandise, and sat me down in front of a computer while he went to play a game, thinking I would just hit random letters and numbers. When he returned, there was a small crowd in front of the computer and I was still sitting there. My Dad looked and on the screen were all the books of the Bible in order, spelled correctly, and with how many chapters they had. He was asked if I had done this. He didn’t know and so cleared the screen and asked me to do it again, which I did.

I have no memory of this, but such is childhood.

I was put in Transition, not because I wasn’t smart enough, but for the social skills that I was lacking, which meant I didn’t go straight from Kindergarten to first grade. As I progressed though, I was studying math at a higher grade level and I was the youngest one ever in the Math Olympiad.

My parents meanwhile were still taking me to see specialists and they had their own predictions about me. I would never finish middle school or high school or go to college or drive a car or hold a job or live on my own. Some wanted to see me institutionalized and with my finicky diet, some thought I needed feeding tubes for life.

My mother said no and some of those doctors were never allowed to see me again.

I do remember before middle school, my parents wanted me to go to the school first, especially since it had a hurdle they wanted to make sure I could handle.

Stairs.

There was some anxiety for me, but I remember telling my mother that no, I couldn’t stop. I had to do this. As a lifelong gamer, I wonder if that had anything to do with it. I had a drive in me to overcome challenges. My parents know if someone tells me I can’t do something, that just makes me often want to do it all the more.

Honestly, for the most part, school was easy for me and sometimes boring. I wasn’t challenged. I had my friends also fortunately and there were always people looking out for me. I know when I got to high school I somehow got Most Studious in my senior class, which surprised me since I never studied.

Also in high school, I had to have scoliosis surgery. It was just before I turned 16 and I had a steel rod put on my spine. While most kids were learning how to drive, I was learning how to walk again, literally. Still, I was a fighter. I was supposed to wait until six weeks of school to go back, but I went back after two. I couldn’t stay just being at home all day. However, the whole year, someone else had to carry my bags for me and I had to leave class early so I could have time to go to the restroom and make it to my next class. Why? Because a hard bump from someone in the hallways could send me right back to the hospital.

It was also at that time I went through some personal struggles that led me to having panic attacks and anxiety in a major way for the first time.

Now looking back, remember those people who said I would never finish high school? They were wrong. They said I would never drive a car? Wrong. They said I would never have a job? Wrong.

I wasn’t ready to move away from my parents, but I was ready for college and went to Bible College because the main thing I knew was the Bible. I still get a kick out of Voc Rehab who worked with me trying to tell me to not go into ministry. After all, they didn’t think I could handle public speaking.

As it turns out, I love public speaking, Speaking one-on-one I find terrifying, but in Bible College, I did give a senior sermon to my entire student body including professors. Not a problem.

When I came, I was a bit quiet and passive, but then I discovered apologetics there and it changed. One of my professors noted how I quickly became someone who was sociable and could speak to others and especially with my professors. I had a good friend there who also told me after hearing me speak in class one day about Southern Evangelical Seminary where I could study apologetics more. My path was set.

After I graduated, I decided I wanted to go there, but I knew I would be on my own, so I needed to demonstrate first to my parents I could handle it. I would live in an apartment on my own for a year. While there, I would apply to SES and then move to Charlotte, NC, from my home in Knoxville, TN. I came up with a way I think was highly persuasive to have them let me move out on my own.

I came home one day and they were sitting on the back porch and I went and sat with them and told them “I just put money down on an apartment.”

Like I said, highly effective.

After a year there, I along with my friend David Sorrell from TheologyWeb.com who lived in Missouri, moved to Charlotte together. We were immediately noticed by people and hobnobbing with the president and Dr. Geisler and others. We also heard something about these two guys who showed up at our new church recently gung-ho about spiritual things.

However, we had one major problem in our living situation we hadn’t prepared for.

What if one of us got married?

And shockingly, that was me.

Mark down something else the experts I’m sure thought would never happen.

I have written plenty about my marriage throughout multiple posts in the past, but I didn’t finish school when I defended my then father-in-law and eventually, we moved to Atlanta, Georgia, and we had a new companion, Shiro the cat. I had a firm goal to be an excellent husband, but unfortunately, issues came up and as you know, I am sadly divorced.

That kind of rejection still stings every day.

But I refused to give up. I came back to Knoxville and then set to making plans to move on my own and decided upon a recommendation from my pastor to go with New Orleans Baptist Theological Seminary. My seminary is over 600 miles away from my parents in Knoxville. It was hard enough on my parents when I moved to a neighboring state. Now I live over 600 miles away. It’s all me.

That doesn’t mean I’m alone at all. Not a bit. I have friends. I have a community here. I would say I am the face of the Post Office on campus. I am known as a cut-up and yes, people do ask me if I affirm the virgin birth, which I do affirm. I am in therapy working to learn social skills more, especially since one of the strongest desires of my heart is to remarry.

You know what? It’s hard sometimes still, but life is good overall. Before I left Knoxville, I bought a small Echo for my parents so we can talk every day and I can see them and they can see me and they can see Shiro who is with me now. I am working on learning YouTube to make videos for my channel, writing a book for a publisher on video games and Christianity, and I should finish my Master’s at the end of the year.

I am a research pastor at my church, though I am pushing to have that be Pastor of Apologetics. I am a regular speaker at Defend speaking on Autism and Christianity and Video Games and Christianity, which the latter will likely be my PhD focus. I have about a dozen books or so I am going through and definitely on the Kindle I read some of each every day. The only times I have missed in a long time were in the past month when I was sick and just didn’t want to do everything.

One reason I share my Patreon often is it is still a struggle financially, especially with this month being tax season. If you have been blessed by my blog over the years, please consider it. You can find a link below and there is one right here.

There are still Autism struggles that I have. I can speak sarcasm fluently, but I don’t know when other people are doing it to me. I don’t understand social cues often and I do deal with loneliness often. I do basics of housekeeping, but I pay someone else to come by about every other month to do a deep cleaning. (And with the steel rod, it’s hard to do some of it anyway.)

If anything makes it worthwhile and easier for me, it’s my Christian commitment. That has been strong all my life and has been the foundation I keep coming back to. It is the very reason I am here at seminary. I am thankful to have a community here with people who genuinely care about me.

I plan to write some more on Autism Awareness, but this is to say that you can overcome to. So can your loved one. I always like to remember how years ago the “experts” said I wouldn’t be doing everything I am doing right now.

It is certainly one way I have enjoyed proving people wrong.

I don’t know where the game will take me next, but I am in it for the long haul.

In Christ,
Nick Peters
(And I affirm the virgin birth)

 

Hard But Worth It

Is life easy? Let’s plunge into the Deeper Waters and find out.

Yesterday, I wrote about the Dutch woman wanting to have herself euthanized next month. The story can present a variety of responses. There is sadness in thinking this woman wants to throw away her life like this. There is anger at the people wanting to do this. There could be anger towards her even thinking that she does not appreciate what she has.

Since she is on the spectrum, I figure I can share my own thoughts on the matter as to what life is like on the spectrum. Is it hard? Yep. Sure is. Yet as a lifelong gamer, something I notice is that most things that bring the most joy are the hardest. There is a great satisfaction in trying to defeat an enemy over and over again and failing and then one time completing the task. The challenge makes the overcoming all the sweeter.

Also, April is Autism Awareness Month so why not give some insight?

So let’s start with the negatives. There are people all around me and many times, it can seem like people are speaking in a language I don’t understand. It’s the language of tone and body. I am someone who can speak sarcasm fluently, but I can’t understand it well in others. I relate greatly to Sheldon Cooper.

Wanting to express myself can be difficult. Usually, if someone comes to the post office I work at and want to put some letters in the slip to mail out, I find it hard to say if I’m sitting there “I’ll take those.” Instead, I usually just hold my hands out. If I can speak without having to use words, all the better. Unfortunately, that’s a struggle when people don’t notice.

For an example where it’s harder, imagine going to the grocery store. You’re in the checkout line and behind someone and there’s a barrier there to separate your orders. You can’t reach it and so you want to tell the person in front of you to hand it to you.

I instead wind up gesturing wildly hoping they will notice me and hand it to me. The words are there, but I can’t seem to verbalize them. Sadly, this method has never worked.

I also tend to live a life in quite regimented order. On days that I work as an example, I go and get a hot tea from the cafe at 3:30 and I don’t start drinking it until 4. I was watching the time on my phone one day and my boss said “You could just go and get it early.”

I looked at her like she practically had two heads.

I have two pairs of shoes that I wear and I follow the same order with them. On the days I wear my white shoes, well those are days that when I take a shower in the evening, I will be washing my hair. I will also be having something besides a pizza for dinner that evening. The system works well in that regard.

Speaking of food situations, those I don’t care for. If I’m at an event with a lot of people and I don’t know them well and I think the food looks messy to me, I get extremely nervous. I can’t explain why, but I know when Crawfest comes along, most students here love it. I’m probably the only student who wants to run screaming.

When I joined my church, I did it with three other single men and I tell my pastor that to this day, I remember how he said what these men would appreciate most is to have someone invite them over to their house for a nice meal.

I was standing there thinking, “Darn. I was hoping you would say introduce us to some nice single ladies. Please don’t have me over to your house for a meal.”

Speaking of single women, that’s also a struggle. I get it. Most men are oblivious to when a woman is flirting to them and we can’t read signals all that well. I suspect I’m worse. It’s also a struggle to express myself to a woman and let her know I am interested in her. It’s one reason I’m in therapy here.

That is also because I am working through the divorce which is still painful. It really stings when you put your trust in someone and give them all of you in every way and they reject you in the end. That gets to what is probably the biggest struggle I have.

I fear that in the day and age of the internet, we’re more globally connected, but we’re less locally connected, and thus it’s loneliness. I come home and it’s just me and Shiro at the end of the day. This is not to say I don’t have friends around here. I remember when my first birthday came around, I wondered if anyone would know on campus. I opened my apartment door and there were gold streamers outside with a gift card, some cookies, and other decorations. I don’t remember everything that was there, but my RA and her husband had decided to do something. That was a huge blessing to me. The gifts were nice, but nicer still were people showing they took an interest in me.

Loneliness is the real struggle though. I notice that it seems like when we all get done at the end of the day, everyone goes out to their own place and that’s it. I have some friends I meet for tabletop gaming and that’s every couple of weeks. I go out with some of the professors at the end of many months for a trivia night. I also see students at the Post Office and I think they know me as a cut-up and someone who tries to make everyone laugh.

It would be a mistake to say people on the spectrum don’t have emotions. We do. We don’t always express them well or have them the same way. Church services that seem to be geared towards getting people towards an emotional high don’t work on me. I have to be doing something else while I’m in a service or else I will zone out. Something interesting for me at least on the spectrum is that this can often help me focus.

It also means we can hurt just like anyone else. I take rejection since my divorce extremely seriously. My apartment is a mess, but in my own way, I need order in my life and I think things should be a certain way and it’s hard to focus when they are not.

That all sounds hard.

It is.

But I’ve only told you the hard side.

I like though that I have a very strong memory that can pull up random bits of information when needed. I can remember facts I know of for trivia night. I can play games and know where I need to go much easier. I can tell you what’s going on in many passages of the Bible. I rarely have to study for a class.

I have a Greek tutor who says that I can sight=read Greek which he says is quite rare. In my symbolic logic class which is a rare class I am having to work at, my professor says I seem to be going through the fog area quickly and I’m even asking questions about the material that shows I’m really thinking about it. It’s great to be in an apologetics debate and have the knowledge mentally that I need to have.

I enjoy making people laugh. I figure if being on the spectrum, I take things literalistically for the most part, why not have some fun with that? I have a professor who came to me in the Post Office once and said “Can you check my mailbox?”

“Yep.”

I just sit there for awhile doing what I was doing and he notices what happened and then says “Will you check it?” That’s when I get up. Even then, I can still have some fun going and coming back and saying “It’s still there.”

“Is there any mail in it?’

“Yes.”

“Will you get it?”

Usually, I already have it with me, but it is a game that I play.

Sometimes students see me on campus and ask “What’s up?”

“The sky. Birds in flight. The opposite of down. A two-letter word that starts with a U and ends with a P. A preposition. Elevators rising. A quark. A Pixar movie.”

Naturally also, students and professors regularly assure me that they affirm the virgin birth, which I do affirm, and I likewise assure them that I affirm the virgin birth, which I do affirm. If I start a joke with you, you’d better get used to it. It’s not dying. If I stop joking with you, that’s the time to be concerned. That means something has shifted in our relationship.

I love being able to do math in my head. I do a birthday game as well where I tell someone what day of the week they were born on by knowing their birthday. Numbers are just fun things to play with.

I have a group I get together with every Thursday night via Zoom that I enjoy. It’s a Thomas Aquinas group and I’m one of the token Protestants. They know they can turn to me for Bible questions and I joke I’m here to make sure they understand Aquinas right.

Right now, I’m hoping to either find someone who can show me how to make YouTube videos or just make them for me if I can supply the ideas and my speaking that I want to have done. It is for my Gaming Theologian channel. I am also trying to raise money to help me with my ongoing expenses as I work on my Master’s and then PhD. You can help out with that here.

Naturally, I’m trying to find a good Christian girl. I have said before that in many ways, I am like Monk and I am looking for my Trudy. I would love to have someone I could just cherish and adore.

Is life hard sometimes still? Absolutely. There can still be times of great sadness. I am on medication for anxiety and depression still. However, at the end of the day, it’s worth it. I love going out and walking on campus and seeing people I know. I enjoy going through my books and then having a relaxing evening playing games and watching YouTube videos and whatever TV show I am going through. (Currently, Young Sheldon.) I have friends and I have family. Tomorrow, I plan on writing about the battle to get here.

If I struggle, which I still do, well that just makes the quest all the more exciting in the end, even if it doesn’t seem like it at the time. It’s another step I am taking on the path to making a difference in the world. I also pray it’s a testimony to other people on the spectrum to not give up, like this poor girl.

I pray every night she will find Jesus. I hope you will too. It is ultimately my trust in Christ that keeps me going. It tells me there is a cause greater than myself not just worth dying for, but worth living for.

It’s hard.

Hard, but worth it.

In Christ,
Nick Peters
(And I affirm the virgin birth)

The Culture Of Death

Is hope found in death? Let’s plunge into the Deeper Waters and find out.

Her name is Zoraya Ter Beek. She’s a beautiful woman at a young age of 28. She has a boyfriend who is forty years old. She has a pair of cats.

She’s also due to die in May of this year.

She has Autism, Borderline Personality Disorder, and depression. Her psychiatrist has told her that it will never get better. She doesn’t want to bear with it anymore, so she’s going to be “Euthanized” in May.

I am on the spectrum as readers know. Since my divorce, I also take medication for anxiety and depression. So how do I approach this story?

First off, let’s say that I and many others understand being in a place where you are under the impression you’d be better off dead. I don’t care if you think it or feel it or both. I’ve been there, There were times of temptation after my divorce. It’s a pain that still hurts to this day, but I have also known if I did that, it would hurt everyone around me, and she would win.

I have been there because life is hard. We have never been promised a rose garden. There are times of suffering that we must all go through. Some times are worse than others. Some people have lives that are overall harder than others do. At least, that’s how it can look to us.

That being said, we live in a culture now that devalues life thinking that death is the answer. Rather than do the hard work of treating and/or curing a patient, it can be easier to just send them to their demise.

Easier does not mean right.

Suicide is automatically a way of saying that absolutely nothing in this world is worth it. Not her boyfriend. Not her family. Not her cats. Not beautiful sunsets or cool breezes in the afternoon or a favorite food. Nothing. It is an insult to all creation.

Also, I would love to know how this psychiatrist knows the future since I know several people who have thought their lives would never get better and lo and behold, they did. I also wonder about a boyfriend who is just fine apparently with letting a girlfriend kill herself. Warning women. Don’t date a guy who can tell you he let his last girlfriend kill herself knowingly.

Everyone involved in this story is guilty of a form of murder to some extent. You can say it is legal so it’s okay, but legal doesn’t mean right. This girl’s life is worth it. I’m not saying it’s easy. I’m just saying it is worth it. It is worth it because she is in the image of God and Jesus loves her and died for her.

Can someone introduce this girl to Jesus before it’s too late?

We live in a culture that seems to worship death and if a life becomes inconvenient to us, we snuff it out and call it compassion. “That child will grow up with a disability! That child will grow up in poverty! Better to have an abortion!” “That person is going through such sorrow! They’re better off dead!” Is it really thought that the person who is being murdered is helped or is it more that we are trying to lighten our burden by removing those that remind us of suffering and having to fight and struggle to succeed in life?

It doesn’t help that we have a one-size-fits-all approach to eschatology. Either everyone just becomes worm food, or everyone goes to Heaven because a God of grace would never do otherwise! Unfortunately, what if He does? What if the moment this girl dies, she dies without Jesus and is in a position where she would give anything to not have made this decision?

It’s a scary thought.

We can try to be nice with it and call it “Euthanasia” meaning a good death, but this is not a good death. This is murder. It is the wrongful taking of life when we have no business taking it. We are telling this woman she is a hopeless case and society will be better off. She has nothing to contribute then.

How much do you have to hate someone to tell them that?

It’s also strange that conservatives like myself are told we are responsible for the deaths of so many people who kill themselves, but when someone else like this kills themselves, well that’s met by cheers and shouts of bravery. It’s been said that people become what they worship. What happens if we treat death as the greatest good that there is? What will we become?

We will become a culture of death.

Or maybe we already have.

In Christ,
Nick Peters
(And I affirm the virgin birth)

 

Andrew Perry on 1 Cor. 8:6 Part 5

Does Jesus just represent the Father? Let’s plunge into the Deeper Waters and find out.

In this section, Perry claims that the best way to speak of Jesus is as one who has the name of YHWH not because He is YHWH, but because He is representing YHWH.

The best sense for ‘included within the divine identity’ is representative identity – i.e. where someone
represents (acts for) someone else.
Wherefore God also hath highly exalted him, and given him a name which is above every name:
that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, of things in heaven, and things in earth, and things
under the earth; and that every tongue should confess that Jesus Christ is kyrios, to the glory of God
the Father. Phil 2:9-11 (KJV revised); cf. Rom 14:1

First off, it’s noteworthy that in this passage, everything bows down to Jesus and to God, meaning that there is a differentiation going on between Jesus and everything else save the Father. Some of you astute readers will be thinking that Paul is quoting Isaiah here. We are about to get to that.

The name given to Jesus that is above every name is not the common Jewish name of ‘Jesus’ but that of
‘Yhwh’. As we have noted above, the type for this is the giving of the name to the Angel of the Lord.
This framework of name-bearing is indicative of representation (acting/speaking50 in someone’s name).
This is clear from the example of the Angel of the Lord where God instructs that the people were to obey
his voice because “my name is in/with him” (Exod 23:21). The identity here is representative, one in
which someone represents the authority and the will of another. As such, it does not confuse the persons
of God and the Angel of the Lord. We can, if we want, gloss this kind of identity as an ‘inclusive’ identity:
the representative is part of the identity of the one represented.

Nothing is said of what if someone does think the Angel of the Lord is the preincarnate Christ and actually an appearance of YHWH? There are numerous occasions in the Old Testament where someone talks to the Angel of the Lord and it is as if they are speaking to God. There are also times the Angel speaks as if He is God, notably in Exodus 3. Perry in a footnote says the prophets represented God, which is true, but no one ever confused Isaiah for YHWH.

Paul quotes Isa 45:23 in Phil 2:9-11 which, while ‘anthropomorphic’, is quite specific in its personal
language: ‘my mouth’ and ‘unto me’ – this singular language doesn’t seem to offer much room for others
to receive obeisance.
I have sworn by myself, the word is gone out of my mouth in righteousness, and shall not return,
that unto me (yl yk) every knee shall bow, every tongue shall swear. (Isa 45:23 KJV)
Commentators assume that bowing ‘at the name of Jesus’ is equivalent to bowing before Jesus alone. It is
as if their exegesis drops ‘the name’ from their consideration of what Paul is saying. However, if you bow
‘at the name’ and that name is ‘Yhwh’, then Yahweh is involved as an indirect recipient of the obeisance
when the one being bowed to is a representative.

Absent is any mention of “I will not share my glory with another” from Isaiah 42:8. However, if Philippians says everyone bows at the name of Jesus and everyone is to bow to YHWH, it’s easy to make that parallel. It’s practically hard to avoid it.

In general, insofar as Christ does the same thing his Father does, the same action predicates are applied to
them both. For example,
To the end he may stablish your hearts unblameable in holiness before God, even our Father, at
the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ with all his saints. 1 Thess 3:13 (KJV)
…and kyrios my God shall come, and all the saints with thee. Zech 14:5 (KJV)

Yet this is not saying Jesus is doing the same action of YHWH. YHWH never comes to the Earth except at the end of Revelation and then it is the marriage of Heaven and Earth. It is Jesus that is coming to the Earth. Again, Paul is making a one-to-one parallel.

This allusion is an example of Yhwh texts that describe God acting on behalf of his people in the land.
The language of Yahweh coming in the person of another is seen, for example, in the case of the Arm of
the Lord (Isa 40:3; 10; 51:9; 53:1; John 12:38). This is God being manifest in the flesh (1 Tim 3:16) and
fulfilling his own declaration, ‘I will be who I will be’ (Exod 3:1460). That God is manifest in someone on
the ground is indicated by the prediction that ‘his feet’ would stand on the Mount of Olives. As Adey
observes, “A Biblical criterion of being the true God is that God’s identity can be depicted by another”.
The predicates of action are equally applicable to Yahweh as they are to the person on the ground.
There are criteria of application for these predicates which are satisfied by Yahweh and the person on
the ground. The point here is not that the person bears the name ‘Yhwh’, nor that they necessarily
represent Yahweh (pace foreign potentates brought against Israel), though this may be true: the point is
that God is manifesting himself in someone through the Spirit – their actions are the actions of God. In
this sense, that person is included in an identity with God (and vice-versa) but without any confusion of
persons.

The fact that some people can possibly have a confusion of persons shows why Paul wrote the way he did, regularly saying theos for the Father and kurios for the Lord Jesus. Of course, it would be difficult to describe in many ways, but the solution is not to change the doctrine, but to change the language the best we can. Yet what happens if someone says contrary to what Perry thinks about this?

Fletcher-Louis states, “Time and again we find divine action or functions ascribed to Christ in a way that
now makes sense if Christ belongs within the divine identity and if he fully participates in the divine
nature.” What we need to question here is the ‘fully participates in the divine nature’. This sounds like
theologically motivated eisegesis designed to support later church doctrine.

Unfortunately, Perry doesn’t question it. It is fine to question what it means and that would be a great discussion to have, but his response is “It sounds like theologically motivated eisegesis designed to support later church doctrine.” Obviously, Perry is free from any theological motivations whatsoever. Suppose I said “Perry’s writing sounds like theologically motivated eisegesis in order to avoid a doctrine he disagrees with.” Could I be right? Sure. Is that an argument to reject Perry? Not at all. The motivations don’t matter. The data does.

The framework for understanding the same divine action being attributed to God and to Christ is
representative. This is clear from the use of ‘parentheses’ in Paul,
Now God himself and our Father, (even our Lord Jesus Christ), direct our way unto you. 1 Thess
3:11 (KJV revised); cf. 2 Thess 3:5
The singular verb ‘to direct’ is attached to the subject ‘God’ as shown by the emphasis ‘himself’, but the
guidance is through the Lord Jesus, as shown by the ‘even’ sense of the conjunction. Paul uses the same
construction for emphasis in 1 Thess 5:23, “May the God of peace himself (Auvto.j de. o` qeo.j) sanctify you
wholly”, and 1 Cor 8:6 makes the relationship clear: spiritual things are of the Father but through the Son
(see below).

When I look at 2 Thess. 3:5, it’s hard to find a translation besides the KJV that translates it this way. The majority don’t have a problem. Looking at the other translations, it looks that Paul is asking that the audience be directed to qualities of the Father and of the Son, but it would not be as if these were mutually exclusive to one or the other. Consider this for an example:

May the Lord direct your hearts into God’s love and Christ’s perseverance.

Are we to think that if you want love, you go to the Father, but if you want perseverance, you go to the Son? Now granted, the Son is the only one who has been incarnate and persevered in suffering, but we are also told that God is patient with us. I doubt Perry would also question that the Son has love for us.

As for from the Father and through the Son, I agree with this. This is because I see Jesus as God’s Wisdom. This does not remove Jesus from the divine nature.

The singular verb attaches to the emphasized subject, God the Father, but the parenthesis provides a
substitution for the reader, a device which therefore does not contravene the normal grammar of noun-verb agreement.66 Fletcher-Louis’ grammatical analysis is therefore wrong “two persons grammatically
expressed as one acting subject”. It is rather, two grammatical subjects (one primary, one secondary)
available for one action verb.

And Perry can win this battle and lose the war. I don’t have a problem with this in my view of Jesus. It’s also something that really makes sense to me seeing as I don’t hold to unipersonalism.

Next time, we will discuss typological identity.

In Christ,
Nick Peters
(And I affirm the virgin birth)

 

 

 

 

 

Gaming Doesn’t Need Sweet Babies

What happens when woke comes to gaming? Let’s plunge into the Deeper Waters and find out.

When I was out sick last week and recovering, I spent a lot of time watching YouTube videos while resting. I am quite interested in politics and of course, in gaming. I have noticed that a lot of popular franchises have gone woke. I know it sounds heretical, but I never really got into Star Wars, and unfortunately now, the series is dead. Woke has destroyed it. What you grew up with is not what is being produced today.

All of this is done in the name of what the Critical Drinker calls

“THE MESSAGE!”

Now it has come to gaming with a company called Sweet Baby Inc. This is all about the whole sensitivity movement and equity and everything else. This is resulting in games where women are not allowed to look feminine lest they bring about “the male gaze” and men are turned into highly emotional creatures.

News flash. The male gaze as it is put is not going away. Men tend universally to like to look at beautiful women. That’s not a bug. It’s a feature. Not only that, but there are plenty of female gamers out there and they would prefer to play as an attractive woman.

The problem with the Woke movement is not that they want to have characters, movies, video games, TV shows, etc. that include characters that are LGBTQ. For me, that’s the thing with freedom. They are allowed to do things that I don’t delight in, but that’s the way the market works.

My problem is that generally, instead of doing the hard work of making their own characters and series and establishing them, they instead co-opt characters that have a history already and try to force them into the LGBTQ group. The woke crowd doesn’t just want to make material that they want made. They want others to not make material they deem offensive and they want to force others to make games according to their standards.

These people are not doing this also because they really care about making good games. Instead, they hate people like myself who are gamers. They want a purge from the community to remove all the people that they deem to be unfit for the community. Naturally, this will be all the people they deem to be homophobic, sexist, racist, transphobic, etc.

In reality, the gaming community is really one of the most open communities there is. We have had female heroes from the beginning, such a Samus Aran of Metroid. It was a major shock for many when at the end of the game, provided you played it well finishing it in x time, that you found out the character who you were playing all along was a woman.

Another video I saw made a claim about Barrett from Final Fantasy VII being a typical stereotypical black guy. Most people were saying “Thanks for telling us you never played the game.” Barrett is a rough and tough guy, but he’s also deeply sensitive taking care of his late friend’s daughter who he took in as his own and with a deep love for the planet in his missions.

Something amusing I like to point out with this is that group like Sweet Baby Inc, is that they want to go after a group of people that spend hours playing games where they took on hostile forces and evil empires and face impossible odds and think everything will work out fine.

It won’t.

Gamers are a dedicated group and we don’t just sit back and roll over when it comes to the games that we love. Gamers all over the world have teamed up to reach goals before. We’re prepared to do it again.

In Christ,
Nick Peters
(And I affirm the virgin birth)

The Reality of Beauty

Does it matter that we picture women as beautiful? Let’s plunge into the Deeper Waters and find out.

I was glad Tifa wasn’t flattened.

I know many of you aren’t gamers, but the Earth is the Lord’s and the fullness thereof. What is happening here is happening everywhere else. When evil declares war, it leaves nothing untouched. Even if you never pick up a controller in your life, you should care about this because your friends and family do pick them up.

So Tifa Lockhart is a character in the game Final Fantasy VII. A bunch of guys (And girls) noticed when the game came out on the original Playstation 1 that Tifa was quite well-endowed. This could be because of the way the polygonal graphics looked on the system. Either way, it was something she got known for.

So a few years ago when the remake came out, I got concerned. Would they change this? Why was I concerned? Because I’m just a guy and I just care about women looking hot? No. I was concerned because if they did this, it would mean they were caving in to political pressure, a goal to masculinize women and make them less attractive. Why? To avoid the male gaze.

As I said yesterday, men like looking at beautiful women. Heck. Women like looking at beautiful women. The problem is our society treats this like it’s a problem.

You all do realize that if men weren’t interested in beautiful women the human race would have died out a long time ago. Right?

You can say that’s shallow, but in reality, beauty is the draw. Beauty is something that leads men to love. They see a beauty and they want to treasure that beauty and pursue it.

Women. You sell yourself short when you shortcut that pursuit of men. Men will often do enough to get the beauty, and then when they have the beauty, well that’s the peak. I am not saying all men do this, but many do.

So what happens if you go to dinner and a movie with a guy and you wind up sleeping with him? You have taught him that’s all it takes. You put your price on what your beauty is worth.

On the other hand also, if you say “You need to make a lifetime commitment to me” then if that man really wants you, he will make that commitment. If he doesn’t, then he told you what he thinks you’re worth and you dodged a bullet. By the way ladies, when he makes that commitment, honor it. Let him treasure your beauty and you will have a happy man indeed. A man who will keep wanting to please you as well.

For men, this also means that engagement with pornography doesn’t just speak lowly of women, but it speaks lowly of men. A man engaging in pornography is taking a coward’s way out that will keep him from having to engage with a real woman. The woman on the screen can’t say no after all. She requires nothing of him. He doesn’t have to do anything that is a risk. He just shows up.

Of course, she also doesn’t really care about him and doesn’t think he’s sexy. She doesn’t want to be the mother of his children. She won’t be there to grow old with him years down the road.

The man will not grow in love and also, when a real woman comes along, he very well could be unable to perform because he’s trained his mind to work on fake women. What man wants that when it’s time to perform? Why even risk it?

This is also why Christians should never say beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Beauty is a reality. It is as real as truth and goodness. If beauty is relative, then there is nothing truly beautiful, but thinking makes it so. Do you think you live in a world where nothing is truly beautiful or even truly ugly?

One can say beautiful women can intimidate some women, but they can also be an inspiration. We know some portrayals, such as in anime, are unrealistic, but not all are. There is debate going on saying the main character of a game called Stellar Blade has an unrealistic image of a woman.

The image is based on a 3D model of an actual woman.

We should not try to remove beauty from women because women are meant to be beautiful. We should not try to remove masculinity from men because men are meant to be men. Our culture is in a war against reality. It is a new Gnosticism and it must be won.

Celebrate beauty today and honor beauty properly.

In Christ,
Nick Peters
(And I affirm the virgin birth)

How Not To Handle Doubters

What do you not do with a doubter in your congregation? Let’s plunge into the Deeper Waters and find out.

Last week, I came down with a virus and was experiencing extreme fatigue. I’m fine for the most part, but I do have a lasting cough that will probably stick with me for awhile. There have been a few nights I have got up in the middle of the night and just sucked on a cough drop until it was done and then I returned to sleep.

So during the week, I also saw someone share this on their post that a pastor shared. Granted, we don’t know all that went on before. The pastor claims there were several cordial DMs that he had with this person, and then decided to share this as something that you just have to do some time. Again, I don’t know all the context, but I am going on what the pastor shared, not the person he was dialoguing with.

Pastors. Please please please don’t do this.

I can see myself easily as the young man in this picture. If someone you trust sees a message and doesn’t say anything, it’s hard to know what’s going on on the other end. He feels ignored. Now is that a potshot possibly taken at the end? Perhaps, but hurt people hurt people, and I do suspect this man has been deeply hurt.

You all know I don’t think God speaking today is normative, but if you do and God seems to be silent and you look to the person you think best represents him and that person lets you down, what else is to be thought? God has totally abandoned you. It’s an easy conclusion to make.

So let’s look at this unnamed pastor for now. I know who he is and where he pastors, but I’m not going to share it. I want to note one thing he says.

He has a church with 400+ people in it.

Could you not find a man among one of them who can help you out? Is there not someone who understands enough apologetics to help this person? If there is not, then pastor, your biggest problem is not this person coming and taking “your time.” Your problem is that you haven’t prepared your flock. If you are teaching the flock the truths of the gospel, finding one person who can do this should be simple.

By the way, I also say a man because I think a man experiencing doubt like this who is going to be spoken to on a personal level needs it to be another man. Forming an emotional connection like that with a woman could easily lead to forming other connections. It is not to say women aren’t needed in apologetics. They definitely are.

This pastor has instead told me more about himself. I know more about what this pastor does, but I don’t know what is going on with the person who is asking for help. I know more about how important what this person does is.

Or rather, how important he thinks it is.

Instead, all I see given back are a bunch of cliches. These sound good, but they don’t work with a doubter. Could some of the claims be true? Possibly. Could it be that this person thinks the world revolves around them? Possibly. Still, the pastor shared this photo and shared it as an example of what to do.

It is exactly the opposite. It is a failure of leadership. It is someone who didn’t delegate and let someone else answer the questions. I hope this young man isn’t a casualty of what you did.

And if the young man who was in dialogue sees this, reach out to me. I’ll answer your questions the best I can and if I can’t answer a question, well, I don’t have a problem reaching out to people I trust to be experts in those fields to answer such questions.

It’s not about me and my time after all.

In Christ,
Nick Peters
(And I affirm the virgin birth)

Book Plunge: Improbable Issues With The God Hypothesis Conclusion

Any final comments? Let’s plunge into the Deeper Waters and find out.

It is always something good to finish off another poorly argued book. So how does this chapter end?

As I embarked on this endeavor, I aimed to prove to myself that such unbelief was warranted; that such doctrine held so dear by many was nothing more than wishful thinking. I once wanted to believe in a higher power and that an unseen force perhaps carried my being along as I moved along this life that I am currently living – that the pain that I’ve experienced as a child wasn’t all in vain. I was ignorant of the beauty and mystery that existed, without the need to believe that God was the one responsible. I found that I had the ability to learn and see for myself that such a view was obtainable, and that a belief system built on nothing but fanciful tales offered nothing that could answer the questions I had. I know such a way of thinking is possible, and as such I know this is possible for anyone. We are all humans, and with that, we all have the chance to look at the evidence, admit when we have been wrong and work towards a better understanding of this world. My final realization was a simple one.

Brucker, J. D.. Improbable: Issues with the God Hypothesis (p. 136). Kindle Edition.

It’s always amazing how these people still cling to a personal testimony years later. Amazing. As for answering the questions Brucker had, I found it to be pretty simple for the most part. The ones I can say I don’t know to, such as the scientific ones, don’t matter to the ultimate claims of theism and Christianity anyway.

One obvious problem is that Brucker was answering questions, which is fine, but his questions were being ignored. He recounts some stories of this happening in Sunday School and other such events. Pastors and youth leaders. Hear this. If you have a student who is asking questions, never silence or ignore them. If that means you have to do extra work to answer their questions, then do it. Avoid it and you are on the fast track to creating an atheist.

What got my curiosity going was perhaps spurred by my grandfather – an avid fan of Real Time with Bill Maher. While watching the HBO program with my grandfather one night, Maher advertised his then-upcoming documentary Religulous. It sounded like an interesting piece at that time, so once it was released, I purchased a copy and watched it with grandfather. We had a few laughs, but most of all it sparked something inside of me, constructing a question that I still struggle to answer today – Is this popular belief as warranted as was once portrayed to me?

Brucker, J. D.. Improbable: Issues with the God Hypothesis (pp. 137-138). Kindle Edition.

I went to see Religulous shortly after it came out. It sparked a lot of questions in me. Namely, how ignorant does someone have to be to think that this is a powerful critique of religion? You can find my review here.

Brucker goes on to describe struggling in AA because people would attribute so much of their success to God. I find it more concerning that Brucker sees people succeeding all around him and is complaining because of God. Perhaps he could have said “Maybe there is something to this if it leads to so many people leading better lives?” That doesn’t make it true, but it is still evidence to consider.

From my memory, I recall a particular quote which effectively ended the notion that God – as he’s been described – may exist; and if he does in fact exist, almost every monotheist religion that’s supported him has failed remarkably. The particular quote was one of Epicurus – a Greek philosopher – and as do most atheists, I regard this as one of my most favorite. It goes as such: “Is God willing to prevent evil, but not able? Then he is not omnipotent. Is he able, but not willing? Then he is malevolent. Is he both able and willing? Then whence cometh evil? Is he neither able nor willing? Then why call him God?”

Brucker, J. D.. Improbable: Issues with the God Hypothesis (pp. 139-140). Kindle Edition.

The problem is this kind of statement is not even really used by atheistic philosophers anymore. It’s the logical problem of evil and it doesn’t work. That’s not to say all forms of the argument from evil fail, but this one does, and had Brucker just done basic reading on the topic, he would have known that.

Religious faith requires its adherents to relinquish their ability to freely question – perhaps the most beautiful aspect of who we are as human beings.

Brucker, J. D.. Improbable: Issues with the God Hypothesis (p. 140). Kindle Edition.

No. That’s fundamentalism. I freely question and I celebrate anyone who asks questions. Questions are incredible and wonderful and worth exploring.

At any rate, this book is not worth your time and money. I read this stuff so you don’t have to.

In Christ,
Nick Peters
(And I affirm the virgin birth)