I had a friend up here tonight and we were talking about issues in the church and eventually, we got to the topic of sex. We talked about a True Love Waits service we’d had at our church and I had to mention that I was honestly bored silly during a sermon on sex. There was nothing exciting presented during the service.
Now I know church isn’t a place to be “entertained” although I do think church services should excite us as we’re talking about the most exciting God of all, however, I do think sex should be a joyous and happy topic to talk about. Unfortunately, all we hear is doom and gloom and only “Don’t do it before marriage.” Nothing is said about the joy of it IN marriage.
This is more of a problem because very little can be said in the family life. My family didn’t really say much about sex. I can count the conversations I had with my Dad about it on one hand. Suppose someone else comes from a similar home and doesn’t hear the church say anything about sex either. You think the world is going to give him another message?
Indeed, the message the world gives is “You only live once so go for all that you can get.” Now we hear that message constantly in our society. I don’t care if you disconnect cable TV even. Unless you live cut off from civilization, you probably receive messages about sex be they propositional or not.
Thus, we have the typical churchgoing youth who hears “Dirty, dirty, dirty” from the church and “fun, fun, fun” from the world. Is there any wonder that they’re so confused? The world actually has something right. I speak as a virgin of course, but I’m sure that it is fun. That fun though is reserved for the context of marriage.
Is it any wonder there’s so much confusion? Our world has more sex in it than ever before and we don’t even really know what sex is. Our youth are filled with so many desires and on the one hand, they want to live a good life, but then, they feel like they need to squelch their desires or that their desires are wrong.
To desire sex outside of marriage is wrong, yes. To desire sex though is not wrong. It’s good. We do know that it’s wrong to lust, but pity the young man who is not tempted to lust. He is devoid of desire. Resist the temptation of course, but the young man should definitely be tempted.
What would I like to see? I would like to see a minister actually get excited about this topic. I would especially like a married minister to get excited. That excitement is contagious after all. I think it’s a shame that the world has stolen the joy of sex away from us. It’s God’s idea. We have the rights to it.
To help us along though, I would like to see more accountability. My friend was telling me about a church with a men’s accountability group and what a blessing it was. I was thinking that I could really use such a group as well. This is a struggle and my friend did give me the lament tonight. We see so much today that we don’t even know how we’re supposed to feel as men any more. I believe we can change that.
Church. I think it’s time we rise up. We need to reclaim the joy of sex from the world. God gave us the principles on how to do it. If they think they’re enjoying it, let’s prove them wrong and show them how to enjoy it right.