My friend Rodney called me tonight. I’d like my blog readers to pray for him. He did get married in June and his wife’s grandfather was becoming a part of his life quickly. He didn’t really know his grandparents. His grandfather didn’t go in for dialysis. It’s only a matter of time at that point.
Romans 12:14 says to mourn with those who mourn. I thought about that as I got his voicemail and called him. What do you say in those situations? Of course, this will be much harder on his wife, so what is he to do? This is the second death that his wife’s family has had to deal with this year.
Rodney is quite humorous and was joking some on the phone even, but I told him to be cautious with such. We seem to get to the point with people where we think that if they’re sad sometimes, we need to cheer them up. Sometimes, that does help. Others, it only makes the problem worse.
Emotions are natural things. They need to be worked through. It’s natural when you lose someone close to you to have grief. It’s not abnormal. The abnormality would be if you didn’t have grief. That kind of depression and sorrow is not a disease. It is simply a process that must run its course.
Some of us want to find the right words to say. The right words to say could be no words. Silence is golden at times. One thing I was sure to tell him was to just be there. That’s all you can do sometimes. You can’t wipe away the tears forever. Just let them flow and be there for the person you care about.
Death is a part of this world. There will come a world for Christians where there is no death, and then we will eternally rejoice. For now though, we do mourn. When people are mourning, you should not throw them a pep party. Instead, you should mourn as well. You should let them know you’re walking through that valley with them.
Into every life, a little rain must fall. You can expect a barrage of emotions at this point. There will be grief and anger at times. Perchance there will be times when Rodney’s new wife doesn’t want to be with him and merely wants to be left alone. I would say at that point honor that choice. Sometimes, we do need times when it’s just us and God.
And God. What about God? My view is to be honest in your prayers. If you are angry with God, tell him. If you want to know what’s going on, tell him. If you want to just cry before the throne, then feel free to cry. God is a big God. He can take all of your emotions and I think he’d rather get the real you than an actor.
I know these aren’t magic words either. There are many facets of grief. I’m not a certified counselor. I’m just giving out my own two cents for what it’s worth for my thoughts on the subject of sorrow over the years. Rodney. I’m praying for you. Readers. Please pray for Rodney as well and if you think about him some, take time to mourn also.