Mommom is the name I have for my grandmother. It just happened when I was a little kid too young to remember that they were trying to teach me to say grandma and it came out “mommom.” The name has stuck. In fact, I recently met a lady who had a grandson who called her the same thing and she said she called her grandmother that.
It was so odd. I felt like she was ripping me off or something.
So today I’m waking up and taking a shower and getting out and going about my day as usual when the phone rings. It’s my mother and my grandmother is in the hospital and she’s not doing well. I call and talk to my grandmother and she sounds worse than I’ve ever heard her sound before. This is my only grandparent left and my thoughts go to “What if?”
Well, I’m not risking it…
Sure, it’s a four and a half hour drive to see her, but who cares?
So that’s what I do. All the while, a million issues are bouncing around in my head and I’m not sure what to think about. It’s amazing that you can reflect on a drive that lasted so long and wonder what you were thinking about the whole time. For me, it was mainly trying to figure out how to get behind the semis so I could enjoy the slipstream.
It could just be that one cannot really focus at times. I was even talking to a friend of mine just now who mentioned A.D.D. personality types that don’t focus well. I was thinking I could relate. We even had a blackout recently and with nothing else to do, I decided to lie down on our couch and just focus on some topic.
That lasted about twenty seconds.
My grandmother though was pleased to see me, although my Dad saw me first and was stunned to see his son return home. He actually thinks her seeing me might have saved her life. My grandmother can tend to be very melancholy. I’d say something hard about that, except I’m the same way. Every silver cloud has a dark lining.
Still, she is doing much better. I ask that my blog readers do keep her in your prayers.
My mother was tickled to see me. I suspect mothers know about these things in some way. All the day she had said she had a suspicion that I would be coming back. Still, it was good to see her again. However, as it stands, I’m spending the night in a motel. For me, just staying with my folks is rather awkward. That’s something for a personality type like mine.
It’s times like this that make you think about things that matter in life. With the Problem of Evil, I could whine and say “Why is this happening?” or I could simply rest in Christ and trust he has an answer. What else can be done after all? This universe isn’t made to focus around me and it isn’t meant to relieve all pain and suffering in my life.
What if God takes her home? I’ll grieve, but as Paul said, not like those who have no hope. (1 Thess. 4:13) I’ve already told my family I would be the speaker at her funeral when that time comes, which I hope doesn’t come for a long time, but I will be ready. It won’t be easy. It’s not supposed to be. It’ll be special though. Christian funerals should have us leaving in happier moods than when we came.
And as I close this, I realize how disjointed this whole thing is. I look and think “Well that describes all the thoughts going on in my head now bouncing around everywhere.” Perchance I am not alone in that and maybe sometime I should write on focus and why I think it might be so hard for some of us to sit down and focus.
Provided I can sit down and focus on that issue.
That is for another blog though.
Well everyone, good night from where I am and do keep praying for my grandmother.