I know it’s a bit late after Mother’s Day, but I wanted to do a blog to honor Mothers. For those who are wondering, the reason you did not have any blog Sunday night is because I took the time to go back to see my own mother in person. They don’t have a good internet connection and I wasn’t going to type out a whole blog from my IPhone so I decided I’d just skip it. If you’re wondering why I didn’t tell, well I thought someone might read this who knows me and could get in touch with my family and I did not want to take any chances whatsoever.
So let’s start talking about mothers!
I think back to a time when I was in a men’s group in High School that was a Bible Study and were discussing the Ten Commandments. We got to “Honor your father and your mother.” Our leader said at that time that we needed to just discuss what bugs us about our parents and get that out in the open.
I noticed an unusual trend and it was from me also as I made some comments as well. Whenever any guy said anything to complain, it was about his mother! No one ever said “Well I can’t stand it when my Dad does this!” Nope. It was all about mothers.
Now what makes this even more interesting is I’m sure most of those guys, including myself, would do anything for their mothers. My Dad was interested in what I’d do for Father’s Day since I’d done something this big for Mother’s Day. I’ll probably just get him a movie on that day and send it through Amazon. Is it because I love my Dad less? No. In fact, while my Mom and I probably disagree the most, when it comes time to a birthday or Mother’s Day, I have to please my mother.
Of course, she’d say that that’s how I’m going to treat my wife someday and she could be on to something. The difference could probably be because the mother is the closest person someone has to a wife in their life if they’re a guy. Pay attention to this women. How a man treats his mother is a good indication of how he’ll treat you.
I used to make the joke when I lived at home and went to the mall for shopping that if it was Father’s Day, well Dad was simple to buy for. Go and buy the latest James Bond on DVD or something and head out. You’re done in ten minutes. When it comes to Mom, you go in and you shop every store painstakingly for hours and you don’t buy anything at all unless you’re absolutely certain it’s the perfect gift.
Now let me give some advice to you mothers and this is something mine is still learning. You gotta let go sometime. Trust that the child you raised is able to handle things on their own. Inevitably, it seems the greatest temptation for the mother is to be a mother again. I don’t think that’s really helpful. One of the greatest gifts a parent can give their child is the freedom to let him screw up.
You have to realize you’re not always going to be near your child so you have to let him make the mistake and suffer the consequences. To do otherwise undermines you and it undermines your child as well. Just trust the finished product. I keep phone conversations with my mother short and often make it a point to not call for a number of days in a row just to be sure the distance is understood.
When the child wants his or her distance, it’s not because you’re not loved but because you are. Let them realize that the mothering work by and large is done. For my mother and I, our relationship definitely improved when I moved away for she saw then that I could handle more on my own and she moved more into the friend category and that is where the mother needs to be at that point. A good child will always recognize all you did as they were growing up and will remember you brought them into this world, but at the same time, they want a different relationship with you. They want your trust.
One of the best examples I think of a mother is Monica in the life of Augustine and this is especially important for you mothers of unbelieving children. I recommend going and reading St. Augustine’s “Confessions.” His mother was an orthodox and devout Christian lady who never ceased praying for her son so much so she was driving the local bishop crazy and he said “It is impossible that a son of such tears should be lost!”
Motherhood is also God’s great gift to women and something that the feminist movement is destroying by abortion. Giving birth is one of the most feminine things a lady can do. Glenn Miller of the Christian-thinktank has written about seeing his child be born and his wife holding the child and thinking “I’ll never get to know what that’s like.” It’s true. We guys may think we get off easy in the process and sometimes you girls think that also I’m sure, but you get a bonus we men can never have. You get to form a unique bond with the child. Abortion is not just anti-baby. It’s anti-woman.
As you think back on Mother’s Day, keep in mind what a unique thing a mother is in this world and cherish the one you had. If you didn’t have a good one, pray for her, and pray that either you’ll be the one you should be or you’ll marry someone who will be the one she’ll be.