Is there a place for “ho ho ho” this year? Let’s talk about it on Deeper Waters.
I have stated before that a tragedy such as what happened in Newtown, Connecticut, around the time of the holidays adds an extra layer to it. The holiday becomes associated sadly with the grief of what happened. I know people who have lost loved ones around Christmas. Indeed, my own grandmother died in November a couple of years ago. It was expected, but still a tragedy.
I have been told that some in Newtown are thinking of taking down their Christmas decorations, if they have not already. I can certainly understand why it is that they want to do so. At the outset, I wish to state clearly that there is a place for mourning. It is not non-Christian to mourn. If you lose someone who you love, you should be sad and hurt. When my own grandmother died, I had been expecting it and thought I would be able to handle it, until I went into the funeral home when I got back to TN.
It was at that point that I broke down. I don’t know how I would have handled it without Allie being there. It was so sad seeing so many people come in and offer their condolences. Of course, there was a joy in it thinking about how many people my grandmother touched with her life, but there was much sorrow. In fact, I was one of three ministers who was speaking at her funeral, which was my first one (And to this day my only one), and I was the last one meaning I had to be an M.C. of sorts so people could tell all their memories. It was one of the first times I thought I’d have to back down from a speaking engagement. Somehow, I did it. I’m thankful now that I did it.
It was a sad event, but when we started sharing what my grandmother’s life meant, our joy really returned. It was worth it. I think most people left the funeral actually in a good mood, which I think is what my grandmother would have wanted. She was a fun-loving and humorous person who would have loved to have seen people laughing.
Of course, the circumstances of Newtown are much more tragic. The life of these children was cut short simply because of some pain in the heart of someone else. This someone else, of course, is not worth mentioning. If anything, we need to be mentioning the names of those who died and the names of the heroes, some who died as well, who fought to protect the children. These are the people we need to remember.
In light of this tragedy, it’s easy to see why some would not want to celebrate Christmas this year. It’s easy to see that presents that were under the tree that were meant to go to happy boys and girls will not go to those boys and girls. There will be an empty spot at the table for Christmas dinner. Every year it will be a reminder. What is to be done?
To begin with, such pain is never recovered from entirely. In fact, it shouldn’t be. Today, my wife and I live in my grandmother’s old house. I’m typing this blog in it right now. We have our Christmas tree exactly where she had hers. Every now and then I can walk through here with the realization that I am living in my grandmother’s old house and there is sorrow with that. Recently, Allie found an old ornament of my grandmother’s on the attic and hung it on the tree. When I saw, she saw me getting sad and asked if she should have done that. I told her I was glad she was. It was a healthy sorrow that I needed to experience, for there was also joy remembering her life.
If we ever lose the pain, it is as if we are saying that we are completely over the loss of the person. That should not be. Scripturally, we must remember that death is an enemy. It is an evil. It is an intruder in this world and we dare not treat it as if it was something we should just get along with entirely. We should look forward to the day spoken of in 1 Cor. 15 where death is spoken of as an enemy to be defeated.
The only time the pain will be ended, is when we are reunited with our loved ones in eternity or understand better through God what has happened. I do not believe that the powers of Hell have veto power to override the joy of Heaven. (My view of the after-death in fact would mean one does see their loved ones still regardless, but their loved ones who are not Christian are not in a mutual loving relationship with YHWH. It’s complicated and for another blog.)
So what of the pain today?
My wife grew up experiencing bullying. Today, we know that this is a major problem. Bullies need to be stopped. Period. Today, she still believes things that the bullies said about her and can have a hard time enjoying many aspects of her life because of those memories. I always tell her the same thing.
When she fails to enjoy her life because of the past, the bullies win.
I would apply the same here. Don’t let the evil of one creep ruin the good for several. Yes. It will be hard, but still say we are determined to have what joy we can in the face of evil. We will not let evil hold us down. We will stand up and fight it and we will celebrate in the midst of our enemies. There will be plenty of time for mourning, but the promise of Scripture often is to turn our mourning to joy.
This does not necessarily mean an emotional event, but an awareness that this is what is going on. God will work it for good if you love the Lord. That is in no way saying that what has happened is good. It is not. It is evil. That’s it. We must look in the face of evil and call it evil.
At the same time, let’s not treat it as the dominant force. If we are Christians, let us say that the joy of God sending His Son into the world is far greater than the evil of a mad lunatic not worth mentioning. Let us celebrate that for the one who came into the world came into the world to overcome death and save us all. Let us celebrate that because He came into the world and died and rose again, we know that the story will end differently. We know that God is at work. We know His kingdom is spreading. We know that those who do evil will be judged. We are to be people of joy.
My encouragement then? Celebrate Christmas. The joy you have is greater than any sorrow that you can experience in the world. Our prayers are with you this year. May you find joy in the midst of sorrow.