I heard a story today on the radio about a study showing adoptive parents are better than real parents as they tend to give more to the child and give more attention. (My first thought is who determined what better and worse is. Veruca Salt got all that in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory but would hardly be considered “better.”)
The motivation behind this of course is so the homosexual left can be given a case to adopt children. This misses a huge point though in that children are better when they have a Mommy and a Daddy. I thought about that today in what it would mean to be a father and how that is a much neglected but needed role.
A boy needs a man to teach him how to be a man. Sadly, this has been terribly neglected in our world. Most TV shows picture the father as an idiot to have pity on and the woman as the one who keeps everything in order around the place and is always the voice of sanity. It’s one reason I love Smallville. Jonathan Kent was a father any son could be proud of and Clark always relied on his Dad and always wanted to be like him.
But what does make a man? This is the key question. It seems our society has so many misplaced ideas. Is someone more of a man because they have bigger muscles for instance? I am just 120. Does that mean that someone who is 160 and in stronger physical condition is more masculine than I am?
How about success with women? Is the guy who is already happily married more of a man than I am? On some levels, I could see this if he is more courageous in approaching the women. However, I do not believe that a man’s measure can be found in sexual prowess either. I believe too often that many of my men have replaced masculinity with this. If we can “score with the babes”, why we’re men. It’s often as if the first time a man sleeps with a woman that he’s passed a rite of passage. Now in a sense, a man has passed some sort of rite at that point, but I believe one should be a man before having intercourse, and not have intercourse hoping that will make him a man.
Is it intelligence? Ah. How much I would like to say yes. However, even this cannot work. Not all men are what we’d call intellectuals, but am I to question their masculinity because of that? I might question other aspects of them, but I should certainly not call their masculinity into question.
What about the body period? Is being a man consisting of having the right genitalia? If a man was in prison for rape and was castrated, would he cease to be a man? If he lost his organs in a war injury of some sort, would he cease to be a man? A man does have those characteristics, yes, but do they make him a man or does he have them because he is a man?
When asked, I think that I would say that the measure of a man ultimately is in his soul. Does he have those traits that are masculine? Is he a leader? Is he strong in heart? Is he confident? Does he truly love the lady in his life? How about the other ladies he meets? How does he treat them?
How does he live before God? Does he seek to be like Christ? Does he control his passions or do his passions control him? Is he willing to put his life on the line for the people that he loves? When push comes to shove, is he willing to stand up and fight? Does he represent himself and his family well before the throne of God?
Yes. These are the measure of a man. It’s not in how much you can bench press, it’s not in physical size, it’s not in sexual prowess, and it’s not in intelligence. It’s in the soul.
I pray to be that kind of man. If you’re of my gender, I hope you pray the same.