I had a friend IM me tonight since I’m speaking on marriage. This is a really good friend who has a great passion and I hope that he keeps it up regardless of any feelings that he has on the matter. However, he wanted to talk to me since I’m blogging on marriage and ask what biblical sexuality is.
I love this kind of question.
I mean it, I really love this question.
It seems that so many of us want to spend time making sure that we might have a “biblical sexuality” even if we don’t use that terminology. However, while many of us may think often about what it means to be sexually pure and what the act of sexual intercourse really means, how many of us ever stop to think about what sexuality is?
When I asked, the first reply I got was in reference to an action. This is one reason I always say it’s best to define our terms. I astounded this friend of mine by pointing out I am a single man and that I had sex last night and the night before and I will have it tonight. (Readers. I ask that you keep reading. I will clarify this.)
Now there was shock and I could see why. The difference though is how we define our terms. I do not see sex as an action. It is why I use the term “intercourse” frequently. Why did I have sex? Because I cannot stop it! No matter what I am doing, I am doing as a man and not as a woman. If I took a vow of celibacy and entered a monastery, I would still be a man.
That gets me to my blogs on masculinity which I reference the reader to.
Consider this for instance. I am a small guy in my physical structure. I am quite underweight really. Does that mean that men with more muscles are more masculine than I am? Only if masculinity is best expressed physically. Now I believe it is to a degree, but a guy is not more masculine the moment he gets more muscles. I believe it’s how he uses those muscles.
My point is that simply masculinity may express itself in the physical, but it is part of our soul. It is who we are. I cannot cease to be a male. Sex is not what I do. It is who I am. I am able to function sexually as a man because I am a man to begin with and that includes proper sexual responses to women.
I also believe that this is found in the nature of God first. We are male and female in his image. We reflect qualities of him that are masculine and feminine. Women reflect his beauty best for instance. (Let’s face it guys, we’re really not much to look at, but those ladies on the other hand! This is also true of the female. They like their beauty more than they like looking at us.)
Thus, biblical sexuality begins with what you are. It is your very nature and you are to conform to that nature. You are to treat women a certain way and men a certain way depending on which sex you are. However, that doesn’t get us into the living out that sexuality. Why do we hold the attitude to marriage that we hold as Christians? Why do we tell people to wait for marriage?
But that, is for another day. We have discussed what it is. Next, we shall discuss living it.