I was also asked yesterday why is it that we specifically wait for marriage. What is the biblical basis. There isn’t one verse in there that says “Intercourse is for marriage only”, but I believe it is implied. We see men taking women as their wives and then they lay with them, we know the culture celebrated weddings, and we know the marriage bed is to be kept pure according to Hebrews 13.
Let me go on and state my character some.
I am a very single man who has a great love for the ladies. When my roommate have been out having lunch and he notices my eyes drift, he’ll look behind him knowing that I’ve caught sight of some lady, maybe out in the parking lot even. If I approach a beautiful young lady in any way, I am normally smiling and trying to get eye contact. In other words, I am a huge flirt.
I assure you, I do not do the idea of waiting for marriage because I’m really excited by it. I, like many other guys, want to have this experience as soon as possible. However, I believe that it is morally proper for me to do so and I believe that it will in fact bring me more pleasure in the long run.
For one thing, we believe that intercourse today is purely for pleasure. I don’t. I think pleasure is a nice aspect of it, but I also believe it is to be connected with procreation and with unity. Let’s look at the last one for now though as the first one will be discussed more in future blogs.
Ladies. Let me ask you this bluntly. What do you think of the charming Romeo who says “Baby. I want you to get completely naked for me and expose yourself entirely and let me enter into you and get my kicks and pleasure, but can we talk about marriage some other time? I’m not sure if I want to spend the rest of my life with you yet.”
Not very romantic is it?
Okay men. Now it’s our turn! Imagine the young lady wanting the same with you but saying “By not committing, I am opening up the possibility that I could just walk away and leave you at any future date and meanwhile be carrying your kid and sue you in a huge paternity case that’ll be costing you for the next 20 years.”
Not too appealing is it?
What’s the problem in each of these? There’s a lack of trust in each case. Without the foundation of marriage, none of the partners is entirely trusting the other. None of them is entirely giving themselves to the other. Intercourse is supposed to be the ultimate act of trust, but how can it be in that case? In fact, I find it sickening that we have to talk about safe sex. You can approach the most intimate act of all and have to worry about being safe. It’s sickening entirely!
Well, you don’t buy a car unless you test drive it first!
To which, Morse in the book “Smart Sex” gives the answer of “Who’s the driver and who’s the car?”
Honestly, think about it. Baby. I don’t know if I want to spend the rest of my life with you or not. Let me see how good you are in the sack first. Nice to know the young Romeo has his priorities in the right place.
Can either one fully trust the other if they’re just going on a test spin of the other? Who would want to be the car? Does each really want to know whether they’ll marry or not depends on the sexual performance they give to the other? In other words, “If I don’t find you pleasing enough, you’re out.” Very romantic isn’t it?
We know the truth. We all do. While we may use others at times sadly, and we all do it, none of us likes to be used. Yet isn’t that what is happening if we take someone for a test drive. We even compare them to an impersonal object! Sorry, but the car won’t have its feelings hurt if you reject it and it won’t bear scars from it. A person will.
What’s the solution? Try the biblical route. Wait till marriage when you are in a total relationship of trust.
As for me, that is what I pray I do, and I know the temptation is real. I have to remember it every time I see a beautiful young lady, and I do thank God that they are beautiful. This is what is commanded though, and I believe he knows best. When my day comes, I don’t want there to be regrets. The wait will be worth it I am sure.