Yesterday, I wrote to the single women out there on what they should expect from a guy in the area of treatment and how they should respond properly. I wrote about their beauty and how they need to be sure that they meet a guy who does honor that beauty. Tonight, I will be writing to the men.
Men. Do we really treasure women? Do we look at them with the desire that we should honor them? Do we look at them and realize how much God has blessed us in that we get to realize how intense a beauty we have before us? Or is it usually more just looking and thinking “I wonder how good she is in bed.”?
Now, I don’t think it’s wrong to think sexually to a degree when looking at a woman. Desire is not a bad thing. There is that want to see that beauty and want as much of that beauty as possible. The problem comes when you separate the beauty from the person. If you want that beauty and you don’t want that person, you have a problem.
Men. When dating the female, always be sure to be respective. I would definitely recommend being as courteous as possible around her family. These could be your future in-laws. A lot of “Mr. and Mrs. X” can go a long way. Be on time for your date and when it comes to the check, be willing to pay. You’re escorting out a princess. (Especially since you should be dating Christians, children of the king.)
Be respectful of the boundaries she’s set also and especially that her parents have set. Now I’m not a believer in the first kiss at the altar movement. I understand its intentions, but I think it’s too much of a denial of the physical and I believe it’s too much to move straight from a kiss to intercourse.
However, I do believe that first kiss should wait until she is ready. That will depend on the girl. However, it is indeed her body still. Her body doesn’t become yours until she says “I do.” Remember to respect it. Always value her beauty and be thankful for it, but respect it as well.
Small things can go a long way in the gift department if your lady likes those. Married men I think can learn from this as well. When I lived with my folks, I would stop sometimes on the way home from work at a gas station. It wouldn’t cost much, but I’d buy one flower there for my mother. Maybe $3 or so. She would treasure it. Why? It was a simple little thing to let her know I appreciate her and am thinking of her. (Hence, her fear with me is that my wife will be spoiled rotten.)
Of course, one piece of advice that needs to be followed (And remember, I need to follow my own advice also) is to be yourself. There’s a desire all we peacocks have to show our plumage. Most ladies don’t want that. They don’t want a show. They just want you to be you. (And I’ve had enough friends mention that to me.)
Naturally though, be careful sexually. Don’t think you’re above temptation. I know someone in the counseling profession who says to not pray with your lady. Why? Because that intense spiritual unity can quickly turn into physical unity. I think that’s excellent advice and ought to be followed.
If you can find a guy that you can be accountable to, do so. I have the rule that a girl will not be allowed in here while I am here alone. I don’t see why anyone else should do differently. If you think, “Oh I wouldn’t give in!”, then you are in reality one step closer to giving in.
However, in all this, be sure to have fun. The company of a lady is to be enjoyed, just as God is to be enjoyed.