For The Ladies: A Single Guy Speaks

I woke up this morning and had this kind of thought on my mind with the blog. The book I’m reading is great and the questions coming from it are excellent. It just gets me thinking more on the topic as well as my own personal desires. If there is an area that does sadden me in this, it’s how women treat themselves.

I haven’t been shy in this thread in saying I do love the beauty of the ladies. There would be a lot of problems if I didn’t. However, I also do realize that the ladies love their own beauty as well. Every female desires to be beautiful. She desires to shine. She wants people to see her and be in awe.

The problem is, I see a lot of beautiful women who don’t know they’re beautiful.

I ponder that a lot of it is from the media today. The media has presented the image of a supermodel as what a girl is to aspire to. Now there are some beautiful women in the public eye, no doubt. That is not because they are in the public eye though, but that is because they are women. They would be beautiful even if they weren’t on TV or doing concerts or in the movies.

Yet too many a young lady believes that she has to look just like X in order to be beautiful. If guys aren’t falling over her everyday, then she’s not beautiful. If she doesn’t have just the right proportions or the right weight or the right figure or the right clothes or the right accessories, then she’s not beautiful.

Of course, I’m not against a girl taking care of her appearance. A girl should do what she can to look lovely before the world. I’m against two things in particular. I’m against a girl thinking that that’s all that she is. I’m also against girls being beautiful and either explicitly or implicitly denying it.

The first one I see in the girls that buy these girly magazines that are far more adult in nature than they should be. If you don’t know which ones I’m talking about, then go to the local department and/or grocery store and look in the check-out section and it won’t take long for you to find out.

Ladies. If you think true beauty will come in what you add to yourself, you’re mistaken. Accessories and clothing do not give you beauty. They can enhance the beauty you already possess. If a guy doesn’t think you’re worth it until he can sleep with you also, well rest assured, that’s not a guy you need to be talking to.

So now we get to the second one and this one saddens me the most. I meet several women who are beautiful and they don’t see it. Instead, they are complaining about their appearance and I and several other guys I know are wondering “Have you looked in a mirror and seen yourself lately?”

There’s a secret most guys are aware of that most ladies don’t seem to be. The girls that consider themselves “plain” are usually the most beautiful ones of all. The ones that consider themselves the most beautiful, are usually the most unattractive ones of all. It has more to do with the inner beauty.

And believe it or not ladies, many a guy can see that.

A good guy is one that already thinks you look great as you are. If you show up for a date and your hair isn’t perfect, he won’t pitch a fit. He’ll just be thrilled he gets to be with you anyway. He’ll also be one that will respect the boundaries that he ought to respect concerning you physically.

Of course, a guy is always thinking that way, but he can do so respectfully. The guy already desires you or else he wouldn’t be going out with you. However, the good guy will control his desires instead of letting his desires control him. Having desire is not our problem today. It never has been. The problem has been our desires having us.

Naturally, he will be tempted. That means that he will have to be strong of course, but so will you. Anyone in a relationship who thinks they won’t be tempted is already on the path of falling entirely. One of my rules for dating is that I don’t allow myself to be alone with a girl at either my place or hers. That is opening the door wide. I have no intentions of letting a girl in here even if my roommate is with me. The only exception would be if we had a group event such as a Sunday School party or something of that sort. Other than that, there’s no need for unnecessary temptation.

One thing would delight me ultimately. I would love for beautiful women to realize they’re beautiful. I would love to see them wake up and realize how special they really are and discover what kind of guy they need to find then. They need a guy who also knows they’re beautiful and respects that and doesn’t want to use it.

Ladies. Keep this in mind. You are in the image of God. He made you to be beautiful. Trust that he did so rightly.

Why Wait For Marriage?

I was also asked yesterday why is it that we specifically wait for marriage. What is the biblical basis. There isn’t one verse in there that says “Intercourse is for marriage only”, but I believe it is implied. We see men taking women as their wives and then they lay with them, we know the culture celebrated weddings, and we know the marriage bed is to be kept pure according to Hebrews 13.

Let me go on and state my character some.

I am a very single man who has a great love for the ladies. When my roommate have been out having lunch and he notices my eyes drift, he’ll look behind him knowing that I’ve caught sight of some lady, maybe out in the parking lot even. If I approach a beautiful young lady in any way, I am normally smiling and trying to get eye contact. In other words, I am a huge flirt.

I assure you, I do not do the idea of waiting for marriage because I’m really excited by it. I, like many other guys, want to have this experience as soon as possible. However, I believe that it is morally proper for me to do so and I believe that it will in fact bring me more pleasure in the long run.


For one thing, we believe that intercourse today is purely for pleasure. I don’t. I think pleasure is a nice aspect of it, but I also believe it is to be connected with procreation and with unity. Let’s look at the last one for now though as the first one will be discussed more in future blogs.

Ladies. Let me ask you this bluntly. What do you think of the charming Romeo who says “Baby. I want you to get completely naked for me and expose yourself entirely and let me enter into you and get my kicks and pleasure, but can we talk about marriage some other time? I’m not sure if I want to spend the rest of my life with you yet.”

Not very romantic is it?

Okay men. Now it’s our turn! Imagine the young lady wanting the same with you but saying “By not committing, I am opening up the possibility that I could just walk away and leave you at any future date and meanwhile be carrying your kid and sue you in a huge paternity case that’ll be costing you for the next 20 years.”

Not too appealing is it?

What’s the problem in each of these? There’s a lack of trust in each case. Without the foundation of marriage, none of the partners is entirely trusting the other. None of them is entirely giving themselves to the other. Intercourse is supposed to be the ultimate act of trust, but how can it be in that case? In fact, I find it sickening that we have to talk about safe sex. You can approach the most intimate act of all and have to worry about being safe. It’s sickening entirely!

Well, you don’t buy a car unless you test drive it first!

To which, Morse in the book “Smart Sex” gives the answer of “Who’s the driver and who’s the car?”

Honestly, think about it. Baby. I don’t know if I want to spend the rest of my life with you or not. Let me see how good you are in the sack first.  Nice to know the young Romeo has his priorities in the right place.

Can either one fully trust the other if they’re just going on a test spin of the other? Who would want to be the car? Does each really want to know whether they’ll marry or not depends on the sexual performance they give to the other? In other words, “If I don’t find you pleasing enough, you’re out.” Very romantic isn’t it?

We know the truth. We all do. While we may use others at times sadly, and we all do it, none of us likes to be used. Yet isn’t that what is happening if we take someone for a test drive. We even compare them to an impersonal object! Sorry, but the car won’t have its feelings hurt if you reject it and it won’t bear scars from it. A person will.

What’s the solution? Try the biblical route. Wait till marriage when you are in a total relationship of trust.

As for me, that is what I pray I do, and I know the temptation is real. I have to remember it every time I see a beautiful young lady, and I do thank God that they are beautiful. This is what is commanded though, and I believe he knows best. When my day comes, I don’t want there to be regrets. The wait will be worth it I am sure.

A Primer on Biblical Sexuality

I had a friend IM me tonight since I’m speaking on marriage. This is a really good friend who has a great passion and I hope that he keeps it up regardless of any feelings that he has on the matter. However, he wanted to talk to me since I’m blogging on marriage and ask what biblical sexuality is.

I love this kind of question.

I mean it, I really love this question.

It seems that so many of us want to spend time making sure that we might have a “biblical sexuality” even if we don’t use that terminology. However, while many of us may think often about what it means to be sexually pure and what the act of sexual intercourse really means, how many of us ever stop to think about what sexuality is?

When I asked, the first reply I got was in reference to an action. This is one reason I always say it’s best to define our terms. I astounded this friend of mine by pointing out I am a single man and that I had sex last night and the night before and I will have it tonight. (Readers. I ask that you keep reading. I will clarify this.)

Now there was shock and I could see why. The difference though is how we define our terms. I do not see sex as an action. It is why I use the term “intercourse” frequently. Why did I have sex? Because I cannot stop it! No matter what I am doing, I am doing as a man and not as a woman. If I took a vow of celibacy and entered a monastery, I would still be a man.

That gets me to my blogs on masculinity which I reference the reader to.

Consider this for instance. I am a small guy in my physical structure. I am quite underweight really. Does that mean that men with more muscles are more masculine than I am? Only if masculinity is best expressed physically. Now I believe it is to a degree, but a guy is not more masculine the moment he gets more muscles. I believe it’s how he uses those muscles.

My point is that simply masculinity may express itself in the physical, but it is part of our soul. It is who we are. I cannot cease to be a male. Sex is not what I do. It is who I am. I am able to function sexually as a man because I am a man to begin with and that includes proper sexual responses to women.

I also believe that this is found in the nature of God first. We are male and female in his image. We reflect qualities of him that are masculine and feminine. Women reflect his beauty best for instance. (Let’s face it guys, we’re really not much to look at, but those ladies on the other hand! This is also true of the female. They like their beauty more than they like looking at us.)

Thus, biblical sexuality begins with what you are. It is your very nature and you are to conform to that nature. You are to treat women a certain way and men a certain way depending on which sex you are. However, that doesn’t get us into the living out that sexuality. Why do we hold the attitude to marriage that we hold as Christians? Why do we tell people to wait for marriage?

But that, is for another day. We have discussed what it is. Next, we shall discuss living it.

Marriage: A Must For The Future

I started reading today a book called “Smart Sex: Finding Life-Long Love In A Hook-Up World” by Jennifer Roback Morse. Now I’m only on chapter two so far, but I am adoring this book! I can tell a book is going to be good when I read the prologue and I get excited about it. I’m just spellbound by all the info on each page and how Morse cuts through so much nonsense. (Another great book I recommend is Lauren Winner’s “Real Sex: The Naked Truth About Chastity.”)

The book has me thinking though about marriage. Throughout the next few days, I’d like to discuss different aspects of marriage and why I think they’re so important. I’d like us to look at a lot of deep issues. I’m not a statistician. I’m not going to give those. I find them interesting, but I’m more interested in the moral aspects apart from the results of actions and the popular views. For instance, while I do think statistics show divorce is bad for children, I’d like to concentrate on how it’s bad in and of itself.

But why do this?

Because I believe that Western Civilization could rely on this question. The loss of the family will lead to the ultimate breakdown of society. I believe this is the danger in divorce, in couples “shacking up”, and in the homosexual push for their “marriages.” Why do I say such a thing?

Marriage is what provides for the future of our society. It is what produces the children and it is not only the production of children that matters, as you can produce children without being married, but it is the kind of children that will be produced. What kind of homes will they be raised in?

If children are not raised properly, then they will grow up to be a people of self-interest and no empathy for others and will do whatever they want and can get away with. Yes. This will affect the decisions they make sexually. Are they going to treat persons as persons of intrinsic value meaning you can’t use them as pleasure objects or are they going to say they deserve the utmost trust and respect.

I believe after thinking on it that how you view sexuality will affect how you view humanity.

If you view it merely as pleasure, you will go and get it wherever you can from whoever you want to.  If you view it though as a way of building intimacy and trust as well as pleasure, then you will be more inclined to believe that this is something to wait for marriage for. Of course, if you lack self-control which the home is to give, then you will be more inclined the other way.

The sexual revolution has had hideous effects on society. It leads to moral relativism being more accepted as well as increases in aboriton and divorce. Our children are the casualty and do we really want the next generation to grow up with the values of the sexual revolution? (Which too many already are! On the Monday after the Prom in my senior year, students were talking about what motels they went to.)

The next few days then, we’re going to be looking at marriage. Much of it will be insights I garner from the above-mentioned book. This is a major issue for our world today and it’s one we can’t afford to lose on.

We’ve Lost Sight

I was talking to someone tonight who had a T-shirt advertising another church. Now I hadn’t heard of it, so I decided to ask some questions. I got down eventually to what denomination. I ask this one because I want to be sure in dealing with a church that the church is orthodox so I check to see if they have ties to an orthodox denomination.

I mentioned Nicea and the lady said “What’s that?” Then she said “As long as people believe Jesus is the savior and that it’s not by works but all by grace.” Now this got me thinking. Don’t get me wrong. I do believe Jesus is the savior and that it is by grace and not by works that we’re saved, but it seems this lady had things backwards. The test for orthodoxy was not the person of Christ but the method of salvation.

Now I believe the method is important, but I think the person is more important. I think Arminians and Calvinists are both my brothers and sisters in Christ. I cannot say though that the Mormon or the Jehovah’s Witness is my brother or sister. This gets just as concerning since a Mormon or Jehovah’s Witness could very well amen what this lady said and she’d consider them brothers and sisters.

Friends. I do think that we need to have a good grasp of church history. Fortunately, the man had heard of Nicea, but this lady was clueless. That leads to easy prey for Mormons and Jehovah’s Witnesses. Now I’m not saying you need to know everything about church history and know the Church Fathers inside and out, but you should know enough major events like the four major councils all accept and what happened.

The early church’s main dealing was with who Jesus was. It was not about works vs. grace. Yes. That was discussed, but when a council is called, it is called to deal with the question of who Jesus is, which I will state was already well taken care of by the early church fathers.

I believe the debate unless we get to a Pelagian view is really an inside debate. I have devout friends on both sides, but I know this about them. They both really love Jesus and they are both doing their part to live holy and righteous lives. I see no reason to doubt the salvation of either.

This is still my concern though. We need to get back to orthodoxy, to what Lewis called “Mere Christianity.” Unfortunately, we are still majoring in the minors and minoring in the majors. (I’m wondering if this lady could tell me why I should believe the Earth is young or the KJV is the only Bible, but not know about the difference between Trinitarianism and Modalism.)

If we care about our faith, we owe it to familiarize ourselves with it. Can we debate the secondary issues some? Yes. They’re not the test for orthodoxy though, and we need to return to that.

Unwanted Children

Last night, I saw my roommate start to engage in a discussion with a skeptic on unwanted children. I began thinking about that phrase. Of course, it is in the abortion debate. The point is that these children are unwanted, so the best thing to do presumably is to go on and abort them.

Naturally, they’re not unwanted. There are several families out there that would love to have children and due to biological factors, they are incapable. I know that some who already have children would be glad to take another child in before they would see one gey aborted.

However, let’s suppose a stretch took place. Let’s suppose that there really was a child on Earth and no one wanted to raise that child. What would that mean? Would the skeptic be right in that if that is the case, then it would be alright to murder the child in the womb, or maybe even out of the womb if no one wanted him or her?

And this, I believe, is the main point we need to get to. Already, we have assumed a utilitarian view of life. Life is good insofar as it is wanted. If it is not wanted, then it is not good. Are we going to come to this point though where we determine the value of life by whether or not it fills a need for us?

This removes human life from being good in itself. Human life is only good insofar as it meets a need in other human lives. Rest assured though that if such a move is taken, it will not be men that determine what value life has. It will be some men that determine what value life has and what lives have value.

We don’t need to speculate. It happened in Nazi Germany. It happened in the Gulag in Russia. It has happened everywhere power has come into the hands of those who do evil. It has also happened more and more when a nation gets away from God. When science becomes the answerer of all questions, we are more prone to viewing life this way.

It’s starting now in fact. The abortion movement is a start in that a baby can be murdered in the way because it is supposedly unwanted. The euthanasia movement is along the same lines. Life is not being seen as good in itself. Life is being seen as a means to a good for some people and these are the people we need to watch.

What can we do? Learn to stand up now. Learn to value life in itself. We can also speak out against abortion wherever it takes place. 4,500 babies are murdered every day. Each one of those lives is precious and valuable, and one baby being murdered in its mother’s womb is too many.

Earth: Heaven’s Foreplay

I was considering how God has made his existence known last Sunday and I have been pondering this idea in my head over and over. I am convinced that the words of Peter Kreeft are true in that everything here points either to Heaven or to Hell. Nothing is an end in itself. It points to something beyond itself.

I looked at everything thinking about it pointing beyond itself. I have come to the conclusion that God is the true romantic. I looked at everything I could and considered God telling me through it to look beyond it. (I don’t mean God giving me a personal message, but I mean a message available to anyone.) I considered Heaven being the final consummation of the relationship and thus all here is foreplay.

Instead, we too often act like lovers betraying the one wooing them over by going over to the counterfeit lover. That would be the things of this world in the wrong way that are good or the evils of this world that aren’t good to begin with. One either sides with Satan or Christ in this battle. There is no middle ground.

But in each case of God showing himself, he is like the flirtatious lover. Consider the lady wooing the man over by being as tantalizing as possible. She is saying, “There is more here. I have more for you that you have not see yet. If you like what you see now, wait til you see the whole picture.”

Of course, I don’t mean that in a scandalous sense. I mean that in a holy sense as a lovely woman who is godly should be desirable. In fact, her modesty is what makes her attractive. She is making herself difficult to get to, but at the same time, giving enough to make any guy who is desiring holiness go crazy.

What guy does not desire that? I believe this is what Christ desires for his bride as well. I don’t believe the system of intercourse is an accident. Instead, I believe that it entirely mirrors the way that the love of God is shown to us. It is the imagery he uses in the Bible after all. If there is a part that I don’t understand, it will come.

A lady I often think has the treasure every guy wants. She can look at herself all she wants in her own privacy and she is just as delighted in her beauty as the male is. However, I think as much as she might be familiar with her own self, on a honeymoon night, she learns to see how beautiful she is in a whole new way.

I speculate this is what Christ desires for us. That he desires to take us and unclothe us spiritually and have us standing before him as we are. In fact, we could say this is what happens at the point of conversion. That we allow ourselves to stand before Christ and he takes away our old garments and gives us new ones.

At that point also, he sends his life into us, which is what happens essentially on the honeymoon night. The lady cannot produce new life on her own. She needs the man to send his life into her and then from her will come the new life. When Christ comes to us, he gives us his life and we are now awaiting the final moment.

Which one is that? The same one nature is awaiting. Romans 8 tells us that creation is in birth pangs. We can expect that God will take this creation and unclothe it as well and send his life into it entirely. It will be fully reborn into what it never was before. It will be a reborn creation better than ever.

And the same will happen to us. When the time of birth comes, instead of giving birth to something separate from ourselves, we will have that full life in ourselves. We will be the new creation. Christ’s life will be fully manifest in us. He will show us who we are and make us what we never were before, which is again, ourselves.

Until then, we look around. God is tantalizing us with the joys of this creation and waiting for the Ephesians 2 moment so he can have all eternity to show us the riches of his grace. Let us not pass up the flirting, for all men and women know that if a wooing takes place and there is no response, there will be no honeymoon.

Seeing the Beauty

I did say I wouldn’t talk much about femininity, but geez. It’s my blog. I can write on the topic some if I want to can’t I? Of course I can. However, my thinking about this key aspect of femininity to me came to me while discussing things with an excellent male friend of mine this morning. He’s an awesome guy. He’s got a good heart, a good head on his shoulders, and he’s a joy to be around.

We were discussing the topic of masculinity and homosexuality and how we need to have men that respond properly sexually to women. I pointed out that I think there are two errors. One is that it’s expected that every guy will be a sucker for every beautiful woman that comes along and goes ga-ga entirely. (Think of the TV show where the wife controls the husband with sex as a weapon, which is something you should NEVER do ladies.)

The other, of course, is the homosexual extreme. This is where one has zero interest in the ladies and is in fact, far more interested in masculinity. Both are wrong and I believe the Holy Spirit is capable of cleaning up both. I look at 1 Cor. 6 as my main text. It could be harder for our age of psychology and emotion to see that.

However, I did say the church has also had a negative role in this. Unfortunately, the church has often presented sexuality as something dirty and to be ashamed of. Rightfully, the church condemns pornography and sexual intercourse outside the confines of marriage. Wrongfully though, it seems to condemn sexual desire along with it.

I have no envy of the man who does not struggle with lust of the opposite sex. Instead, I have pity. Such a man is not being tempted by that which is good. It could be that he is either so holy he is no longer tempted or he is so dead in his masculinity that he isn’t tempted. Unfortunately, it’s more likely the latter.

Men should be tempted. Why? Because women are good things and their beauty is a good thing. I spoke to my friend about how I saw this often growing up in church. Many of us are young men and we just don’t often know what to do. We have this great desire, but at the same time, it seems wrong to have the desire. I am thankful for Sunday School teachers who pointed out passages like Proverbs 5:18-19 to me.

Yet I also pointed out a great truth. There were several women I was infatuated with in High School, though I never acted on any desires. I was a shy guy. What can I say? Still am in many ways. However, it wasn’t until I started studying apologetics that I began to see just how truly beautiful women are.

Why? I think it is because seeing the truth of my faith caused me to look at life in a whole new way. Why did I see women as truly beautiful then? Because I saw them as reflections of his beauty. I began looking at sexual intercourse, this great desire in me, to see if it could tell me anything about the love of God, and I found volumes! (Today, it is one of my favorite topics to get a book on. I definitely recommend for anyone a copy of Lauren Winner’s book “Real Sex”, the best I know on the topic.)

How did I see the beauty then? I saw the beauty of a female by the beauty of God. It is the same with light. I cannot see light directly. It moves too fast! However, it is by that light that I can see everything else. It is by God that I see everything else, or at least I should, as it truly is.

When I see a lady then, I look for that which most reflects Christ. I can see some women that will be seen as “plain” by most of the world but they have great hearts and for myself, a strong intellect also doesn’t hurt, and they are gorgeous. Then, I can see women that when describing how they look physically, they could be supermodels and I know it, but there is just no attraction there. They are merely skin deep.

My stance on women is that they are Eve walking around. Eve represents the glory and beauty of God. I see her as the most glorious being in creation. Man is meant to lead the creation, but the woman is to represent God’s beauty on Earth. In fact, I have a syllogism with a missing premise that I use. You will either understand it or you won’t.

Beautiful women exist.

Therefore, God exists.

I am thankful that God has created so much beauty, especially in the woman, and that he has enabled me to see him in her.

It Was A Very Good Year

I was watching a friend of mine talk last night about the years of her life. She mentioned one and I said “That’s the year I was born.” She had to thank me for making her feel old. It certainly wasn’t my intent. I thought about it today and wondered if she had said that was a hard year of her life or not. I couldn’t remember. I thought though how odd it would be if it was for the reasons I shall discuss in this blog.

First off, let me say something about this person. This person informed me recently she is a secret reader type of this blog. I was surprised, but it makes sense. I think this person is quite the angel. When I see her, I see a purity in her that I don’t see in a lot of people and I think she genuinely cares about people and has an interest in them. I have a deep respect for her. I want her to know that.

I thought though that what if it was a bad year? Well, it could have been a bad year for her at the time, but is it overall? After all, it was the year I was born and she obviously enjoys my blogs and if I hadn’t had been born, then she wouldn’t have been able to enjoy the blogs. A time of suffering eventually produced a time of joy.

I thought about that also with other times. I have a great friend who is probably the person I trust most on this Earth now who has helped me overcome so much. We were chatting one night about something and I relayed something from my experience and said “Maybe you’re the same way.” Lo and behold, it seems I was right.

What has that led to? My awesome friend got some healing from my suffering. I consider that the same situation happening. The suffering that we consider so bad is that which will be redeemed. The pain can be used on this Earth often to bring restoration to those whose path we come across.

I then thought about that. I don’t like what I’m going through a lot of times, but I had to consider. Would I go through it if I knew God would use it for good? Of course. Yet that is what he promises. In Romans 8, he says all things will work for good. Not all things are good. He doesn’t say that. He says they’ll work for good.

I remember going through a time of anxiety and depression in my life. Now when I meet people who struggle in that area, I can help them a lot more. I look at where I am in life now. I don’t care for my job honestly. I think I can do much more. Yet I considered, maybe someday I’ll be teaching another promising student in apologetics in the same situation and be able to say “Hey. I was there once too. Hang in there!”

C.S. Lewis has said most friendships begin with someone saying “What? You too? I thought I was the only one!” I wonder how many times our experiences of pain help heal others the same way. It seems the worst suffering one can undergo in life is easier when you know one other person is there.

I wonder when we get to Heaven and we see the scars other people had that I believe God will use to show his glory in redemption, how many others will look at us and say the same thing? “What? You too? I thought I was the only one!” Maybe that suffering we hid because we thought it was unique to us was really going on in several others.

I am a firm believer that Heaven will redeem any pain we have had here and any time spent in suffering. If we take the time and consider that, can we not see how our suffering in the long run if we are Christians will one day be our glory?

And if I am right about Heaven, then maybe we should be more willing to begin it here. It could be a lot of our suffering isn’t as bad as we think it is.

More on Masculinity

A reader yesterday commented that while I discussed some things that masculinity is not yesterday, I never got around to saying what it is. Point well taken. However, there is a good reason for such. I, and I say this to all my readers, am still on that quest. It is a shame that in our society today, we have no idea what it means to be a man.

I did list many things I do not believe it is. Why? Because I believe that these stereotypes only do us harm. It is a sad truth that many do not fit into these areas. Many a young man is confused and not sure where to go in life and that has been due to a lack of true role models and a plethora of bad.

Yet I firmly believe that this is something that must be reclaimed for our time. Now I hold the same for femininity. Why do I not write on it? Because I am the guy and it is far easier to write from my perspective. As much as I try to understand women, I think it is best for women to explain femininity and men to explain masculinity.

However, I am certain this will effect how we treat the women in our lives and how they pursue femininty. If men are truly being men, I believe that women will truly be women. Generally, the man has had the most sway in each unit of society. If a husband is won to Christ, it is far more likely that his family will be than for any other member.

I also believe that while psychology can help us in many ways, it is Scripture that will be most essential in revealing what masculinity is to be. Psychology can help us reach the goal of course, but I believe that Scripture is that which will ultimately reveal masculinity in explaining how we are in the image of God who contains masculinity in himself.

For now though, it seems that we simply have boys running around in bodies of adults. We have too many men that look at women as playthings. C.S. Lewis spoke about this type of person and how people would say that he’s looking for a woman. Lewis told us that the truth is that a woman is the last thing he wants to meet. He wouldn’t know what to do with her.

Why? Such a person is simply looking for pleasure and a female body happens to be the apparatus by which he wants to earn that pleasure. Were he to meet a real woman, he could be sure that she would not surrender herself so easily and the person would not know what to do.

I believe this will play a part in how men father their children. I do believe a man should play with his children and enjoy them, but he should also discipline them and teach them how to live godly. A man should work to care for his family, but when work is done, it is done. He should then come home and be a father and a husband. He should also be of good reputation in the church.

Young sons? They need to grow up and be able to take risks. Look at all you see. It is here because someone took a risk. Someone took a risk with the idea called a computer and I am here writing. I am here period because my dad decided to take a risk in dating my mother and apparently, it worked out good. This blog is going up because I decided to take the risk that I could come up with something to write about every night. I am living where I am because I decided the dream I had to pursue was worth a risk.

Thus, I think our young sons should be able to take risks or else they will not accomplish anything. Our men should have emotions, but they should not be ruled by emotions. They should be able to cry at what they ought to cry about and be able to laugh at what they ought to laugh about.

Dear readers. Do I know for sure what masculinity is? No. Not entirely. I have clues, but not the whole idea. I believe that is how powerfully the spell of naturalism has been worked on us. However, rest assured that I have no desire to stop searching and when I get something more definitive, readers of Deeper Waters will be the first to know.